Blogger Changes that Simplify Raw Odyssey Searches

I noticed that now we can tag our blog entries! This is great, because now if I write about the tired topic of "hair loss," talk about how I have/don't have cravings, or how I am "starting over" again, I can tag my post with those words or phrases. You can then click on a tag that appears at the bottom of a post and see how many times I have "fallen off the wagon" or what post it was that I first noticed my hair falling out. Or maybe those things are more important to me than to any of you- haha! But still, it is interesting to see where I am today compared to a year and a half ago. If I tag all of the posts that have my blood pressure, for example, I can go back through history and see how my diet has affected my BP simply by clicking "blood pressure."

So I am currently going through 300 posts and adding tags. For those of you who subscribe to this blog via a newsfeed, I apologize if you suddenly appear to have a hundred new posts (I'm just guessing this could happen). I won't get this all done in one week I don't think, but I put a dent in it today. I'm already fascinated by how many times I have the same insights. Will I ever learn? :-)

Good Health News!

The past week has gone pretty well. I've been seeing the nutritionist and recording my foods. I did have a Krispy Kreme doughnut for the first time - right from the factory. WOW- but they've got lots of saturated fat and sugar, and are obviously not something I'll be eating much of in the future. I am not ordering myself to stay away completely from all foods, but I think that over time I will naturally refuse these types of things. I won't feel a craving or desire for these foods and won't feel that I am depriving myself. Currently there are days when I have to force myself to stay away from the unhealthy stuff, but these days occur less often with time.

Thank you, Chubbiegirl, for the juice and fizzy water idea. That is great! I used to drink juice and diet Vernor's or diet 7-Up, but I can drink it with Pellegrino or Perrier or some other sparkling water. Why didn't I think of that? This will help me when I have a taste for diet pop or Pepsi.

During my last visit to the nutritionist she measured my blood pressure at 110/80. What a difference from the 154/89 I had a short time ago during that scary health episode. I've also lost 14 lbs since July 10th. Even better, she went over my bloodwork results and said that the only thing that can explain my good HDL and triglyceride are my genetics. Lord knows I certainly haven't been eating healthfully or exercising regularly enough to have good HDL or triglycerides. I've always felt that I am very lucky to not have diabetes or diet-related heart problems. My cholesterol is high, but she says that she has seen cholesterol go from the high 200's to the high 100's in just a few short weeks from a change in diet. She wants me to get my bloodwork done again 6 weeks after the previous one was done to see how my diet has improved my cholesterol.

This morning I had the sudden idea to have lunch at the local raw food restaurant. I had about 1/3 of a cantaloupe for breakfast and then around noon went there for my lunch. I had the enchiladas. Boy, were they good! Amazingly, I was not hungry the rest of the day. No cravings, no hunger pangs, no thinking about when I was going to get my next meal. I went out to the outlet mall with a friend who ate a large pretzel, an ice cream cone, and also got candy samples, but I really had no desire for those things myself. We almost had dinner at a sushi place but the price drove us away. I would have eaten some sushi if she were hungry but if I'd been at the mall alone I wouldn't have even gone in. Today reminded me of how it felt to be raw last year, going hours without thinking about food and eating healthfully with little of the effort it is taking me right now. I can't wait for those days again!

When I finally did get hungry tonight, I had an eggbeaters omelette with vegetables. I have no idea how many calories, fat grams, proteins or carbs I had at the restaurant, but I have pledged to get enough protein, so the eggs filled that bill. At the restaurant I bought flaxseed crackers. One ounce has 8 grams of protein- not bad!

So today was a good day - I had no cravings for junk foods, drank enough water (my back started hurting, which served as a reminder!) got a taste of how great an all-raw day is, and got a lot of exercise and vitamin D walking around the mall for a few hours in the sunshine.

Note to Christine: I am at www.myspace.com/rawodyssey if you happen to have a myspace page and want to contact me there. If not, feel free to send me your email address (I won't publish it) if you want to talk. I'm glad to know you are out there!

New Way of Thinking, New Way of Shopping

As I get back into the mindset of using food as fuel and sustenance and not simply enjoyment, I find that my grocery shopping habits are changing. Rather than creating a shopping list of canned goods, produce, meats, etc, creating one with categories titled proteins, fats, and carbs works better sometimes. I think of my meals in this way as well; today, for example, I looked at what I lacked in nutrients and what I had too much of by the end of the day and ate a dinner that filled in the categories appropriately. Choosing foods based on nutritional needs rather than "what I have a taste for" is happening gradually, but naturally. I don't try for an exact balance daily, however. I think a balanced week is more sane for me.

Now that I drink water regularly, I can really tell when I'm becoming dehydrated. My head starts to hurt a little and other little symptoms crop up that I probably used to diagnose as signs of hunger or tiredness. I now keep water with a slice of lemon at my desk all day at work, and refill it throughout the day. I buy bottled water so I can easily grab some H20 when I'm going to be out of the house for awhile in the evening or on weekends. I can't say I get 8 glasses a day yet, but I'm getting there! I haven't had pop in a while, although at times I want some just to get a break from plain water. Perrier and Pellegrino with lemon or lime helps a bit.

Currently I notice that I want my old foods mainly when I'm bored. If I keep a variety of flavors in the house and keep myself occupied, though, my mind doesn't wander to eating. When I was thoroughly into eating raw last year I wouldn't think of food much at all for hours at a time. I'm certainly not at that stage yet this time around, but I'm looking forward to it.

Yay- I like My Nutritionist!!

My visit to the nutritionist felt pretty good. I am optimistic about her supporting a gradual switch from my current diet to a vegetarian one, then to a mostly raw one. My personal goal is to lose 50 lbs before the end of the year (she thinks I can do it before Thanksgiving) and then to focus more on feeling better physically and emotionally as I get healthier. The nutritionist's goal is to support me in doing this as healthfully as possible, both from a physical and emotional standpoint.

Today the nutritionist weighed and measured me (yuck, and yuck). She gave me quite a few handouts to read about particular nutrients, healthful foods, the dangers of Pepsi (sigh...) and other things based on my diet history and our discussion about my current health. She wants me to go get my bloodwork done as soon as possible so she can use that as a guide for a food plan. I could tell that I was baffling her with my lack of visible enthusiasm but I've been kinda depressed these days. She handled it pretty well. I like her and think she'll be good to talk to about topics like emotional eating, eating disorders, frustrations with weight loss, low self esteem, etc. It's kinda like having a therapist dealing with the main problem I have: using food for everything. I've tried therapy before and although I liked the therapist, I think counseling about eating habits might be a better way for me to approach the issues that lead me to overeat. On the other hand, I know from my raw days that when I'm eating raw, I don't have the cravings and compulsions I deal with now, so....? Is the problem emotional or physical? I believe it's mostly physical but that I've been brainwashed to believe it's mostly emotional (hence the mental self-flagellation). At any rate, I'm not going to confuse her with an actual therapist, but I know she'll be pushing some emotional buttons as we work together. How can she not?

Based on the foods I told her I'm eating right now we came up with menus for breakfasts, lunches and dinners, which she made sure were balanced with the right proportions of protein, starches, vegetables, and fruits. Stuff like coffee with creamer will go into an "Other" category, although I'll try to keep that category to a minimum (even my beloved Pepsi can go into the Other). I don't count calories- she does that. You know, even though I'm paying an arm and a leg for this service, it still feels like a luxury to have someone else put my meals together and count the calories and nutrients. All I do is say, "no" or "yes" as she rattles off food suggestions, and she writes up the menu and totals the nutrients. She even made a grocery list for me. I love it. Maybe this is what Oprah feels like!

So I've got a whole folder of stuff to read before I see her again next week. I'll be able to contact her for assistance via the internet daily if I need information or emotional support. I'm to email my food journal to her online regularly and then we'll go over it weekly in person. She'll weigh and measure me to ensure I am not losing "lean" rather than the "adipose tissue" (fat) I'm trying to get rid of. I told her that this weekend I'm on vacation in California and that I do not intend to follow a food plan. She pretty much laughed that one off and showed me how I really could follow the plan pretty easily and possibly even lose weight this weekend. I'm still not planning to follow the plan- so who's got the last laugh now, Ms. Nutritionist? Huh? Oh, you do?
Never mind.

SHORT ANALYSIS

PROS
1) If I don't lose weight this month she'll be right there advising me; I won't feel so alone in this struggle.
2) She's knowledgeable, has a good sense of humor, lots of patience, and much enthusiasm
3) Supports my whole/raw food plans
4) Is practical and realistic about my making lifestyle changes, not "weight-loss changes"

CONS
1) Sure costs a lot of money
2) Really expensive
3) Did I mention I pay a lot for this?

Clothing Therapy

I've taken a little break from my healthy menu and workouts to indulge in my naughty little food treats (you saw that coming, didn't you?) It was fun but, as usual, it's always more fun eating fast food and junk than dealing with the aftermath- the stomach aches, etc. I probably wouldn't have bothered to eat those foods if I hadn't had the nutritionist appointment coming up! Fortunately, I know that next week I will be rejuvenated in my quest for health and fitness because of my new, personalized health plan. I will be meeting with the nutritionist THREE DAYS A WEEK in July. If things go well and I can afford it, I will sign up for August as well.

The nutritionist sent me a packet of documents to fill out. It asks for your measurements and weight, a basic health history, your nutritional goals, as well as questions regarding past/present eating disorders. They recommend you see a doctor before starting their program. They have a personal trainer who does a weight routine, but I can't cough up an extra $150 for him right now. I definitely want to start weight training soon, though.

Next weekend I'm spending time with a friend in California who is going to go clothes shopping with me. I really need clothing therapy! Because I hate shopping for clothes I tend to grab from the rack whatever is in my size. If it fits, great. If it's a tad too big that's great, too. If it's too small I might hang on to it or I might return it. But I never try on a series of outfits (and I never buy feminine-looking clothes because I'd really have to try those on!) Nope, I'm all slacks, t-shirts and button-down blouses. I have one dressy shirt, one pair of dress slacks, and one boxy jacket. The rest is all sporty casual and definitely not me.

My friend will help me to buy some stylish clothes, sizes 26/28, that look best on the body I've got right now. This is therapy for me because I hate to acknowledge that I've gained so much weight. To me, clothes shopping is nothing but a reminder of what I've done to myself. However, I know that when I feel good about my clothes, I have more self-confidence and a much more positive attitude throughout the day. I remember fondly the nice outfits I used to put together before I gained all of this weight. Nothing expensive, or trendy- just quality clothes that were tailored, had some personality, and fit me nicely. These days my fashion statement is "don't notice me, please." So I'm gonna work on changing that. I don't think I should wait until I get smaller to start dressing better, although I must say that spending money on clothes when I'm losing weight is very hard for me to do. I hate wasting hard-earned money. I have to rethink that attitude: spending money on something that makes me feel better about myself shouldn't be considered a waste!

I'm Obsessed with Pizza Hut

I don't know what it is. For the past few days I've been thinking about getting a deep dish double cheese pizza from Pizza Hut! Or, I could do KFC. I could really go for a salty fried chicken breast about now!! But I shall take my little cravings one hour at a time. I went to the gym this afternoon rather than drive out to the fast food restaurants. I did 2.38 miles in 45 minutes on the treadmill - that's about a 19 minute mile- a nice improvement from where I started. I didn't look at the clock until I'd completed 38 minutes; that means I had really good music today. When I'm bored, it's all I can do to keep from looking at the minutes ticking by. My calves and ankles hurt a bit because I was on the elliptical trainer yesterday, but they didn't hurt enough to make me slow down.

I found a very interesting website that helps you calculate your calories burned based on personal info you input, such as your height, weight, gender, age and resting pulse rate. I used the site to enter a hypothetical 5- mile urban walk done at a slow pace (2 1/2 hours to complete it). It said I would burn over 700 calories! I can't wait until Fall when the temperature drops because I live 5 miles from my job right now and it would be nice to start walking to work like I used to in the Midwest. Here in the southwest it's way too hot. I'd be walking home in 110 degrees! Although I like the site, I was annoyed during the actual mapping of my route- it was a pain to create the path, but then again I'm one of those people who won't read directions. It wasn't difficult to create the map, just a nuisance until I got the hang of picking up/dropping the little nodes. Once you are done with your route you can save it and make it public or private. You can give it a try yourself at http://www.mapmyrun.com. A fun feature is the export of your route to Google Earth.

Living Life

Today I'm trying to focus on staying more positive. To do this, I need to lessen the amount of attention I put on food, because I’m finding myself going back to where I was last year- ruled by food! When I was eating raw, I could go for hours and forget there was such a thing as food. I wasn't hungry, wasn't craving, wasn't feeling guilty or deprived- I was attending to the other parts of my life, and food occupied a proper amount of space in it. Now, food has taken over again. So I’m going to make a concerted effort to do some enjoyable, non-food things (except I do have to go grocery shopping today- can’t totally avoid food!)

One thing I really love is music- it’s a great escape and is very relaxing, even the type of music I listen to (metal, hard rock). When I can’t get into my music, I know I’m really going through a “down time,” but last night I was able to relax for the first time in a while. I think reading the welikeitraw.com site was a factor in helping me to gain some perspective and stop berating myself as much for falling off the wagon. I listened to some great stuff for HOURS- like from 10pm to 3 a.m! I think I listened to some songs about 20 times apiece: Dani California (by the Red Hot Chili Peppers), Master of Puppets, Some Kind of Monster and St. Anger (Metallica). I threw in a few other types of songs, but most were of the rock/metal variety. This type of music gives me energy, although I don’t always use it to push myself out the door the way I should.

Sometime overnight I found out about the death of Steve Irwin, the “Crocodile Hunter.” I was very saddened about this- especially by the idea of his suffering before he died, and by thoughts of the family, friends and fans he’s left behind. But I also have to say that he died doing what he loved. His lived his life according to his principles and his mission: to teach people to respect wildlife rather than to shun or kill living creatures out of fear and ignorance. He wasn’t perfect; he made mistakes in judgment and he’s gotten injured in the past, but he believed in what he was doing. If you see interviews he’s given, he was a driven and happy human being.

That is a lesson for people like me who tend to hide behind books rather than getting out there and living life. Irwin lived his dream, while I’ve spent way too much time preparing to live mine - gotta get healthy before I ride a motorcycle! Gotta lose weight before I take those percussion lessons or ride a bike across the country! Gotta finish school before… Well, at this rate, I won’t have done any of the crazy things I’ve always wanted to do! People may think Irwin was crazy, but there is much to admire about the fact that he wasn’t afraid to live his dream. I could stand to take a page from his book.

(Speaking of books, here are a couple below)

The Path of No Extremes

Today I took a break from studying and decided to play with my Mac's screensaver. I tested the one that displays RSS (newsfeeds) and boy was I shocked to see my name come up! Turns out www.welikeitraw.com's Drumhil was commenting on my post about the challenges I've had staying raw. I really liked what he had to say- here's a quote:

"From my experience, I would say most of the problem relates to identity. The majority of people in the raw food circle have been sold a very rosey picture of what it means to be an enlightened rawfoodist who is above and beyond all food cravings and temptations. This image is a tough one to live up to and very few gurus talk about the honest challenges that even they face trying to live up to this image on a daily basis."

I really agree with this statement. As readers of this blog know, I've been very disillusioned about the lack of easily-accessible discussions by raw food gurus about certain topics, such as the hair loss I've experienced. There are raw food forums where topics that cast doubt on 100% raw food diets are taboo. I don't believe there is a single diet for everyone- we have different food tolerances and even likes and dislikes. A mostly-raw or 100% raw diet just doesn't do it for everyone, while for others it works just fine.

I think I've gained 10 lbs in the approximately two weeks I've been off raw (how unfair is that? I can't lose ten lbs in two months but I can gain it in two weeks?) :-/ Drumhil's observation that people who try to be perfect can find themselves backsliding back to non-raw has some relevance for me. I was doing so well, I thought. I was proud to be staying "high raw" despite months of not losing weight. But when the stress hit me, it was too hard to strive for high raw- I've been too busy trying not to get depressed. So I let it go altogether. I really want to incorporate the Buddhist values which include following the "Middle Path" of no extremes in either direction, but I keep forgetting to do that! Right now I'm on the non-raw extreme. I may ease my way back towards raw by starting the day raw, and then just seeing how the rest of the day goes. I want to eat a majority raw diet because I know it is healthier for me, and that it helps keep me from bingeing, since I don't tend to binge on raw food.

I like what another raw foodist, Pomegranate Bliss, calls her raw food journey: "lovingly imperfect." She embraces imperfection from the get-go! If I could adopt an attitude more like that, and not go from one extreme to another, my raw odyssey would not feel like yet another stressor when the chips are down.

Here are some links below related to this post.

Drumhil's article at www.welikeitraw.com
Raw blog by Renee (a kindred spirit): Pomegranate Bliss
Wikipedia entry about the Middle Path

Mini-fast, Day Two (UPDATED 8:30 pm)

(Photo: Lake Las Vegas Resort- a great place to relax!)

I woke up this morning very hungry, but I got on the scale and saw that I'm back down to 270, where I haven't been for a long time. Yippee!!! But man, I could really eat a meal today. The only reason I'm not is because those numbers on the scale are inspiring me to stick it out today. Isn't that pitiful? I'm supposed to be enjoying the serenity of it all, but dammit, I'm HUNGRY! Now yesterday, all of my hunger disappeared shortly after 6pm- that was amazing to me. At the poetry slam I was jealous of Felicia's salad but I ordered tea, which I didn't even really drink because I was too busy taking pictures of the performers. I was fine, and didn't get hungry again until early morning, like 1 or 2 a.m.

This morning I have had my fasting tea, a lovely mouthful of molasses, my vitamins, and a tall glass of water. I've decided to make some fresh-squeezed orange juice the next time I get hunger pangs today, but other than that, I'll try to stick to tea and water. No- what am I saying? I will stick to tea and water. No solid food! (I can tell you one thing: I will really appreciate my meals tomorrow).

I applaud all of you who make it past day one, because I'm not finding this easy. Look out for a second post today containing some of the comments I've received from readers about fasting. Since I'm still collecting information, please continue to send me stories about your experiences with fasts and cleanses- what method you tried, what your goals were, how it turned out, and whether you would do it again. I'm thinking I can do this mini-fast again. Are there benefits to doing a one-day fast once a week, or is that a waste (other than saving money on grocery bills!)? I do think this experience allows for some mental expansion. It's like I have time to ponder other things because I'm not distracted by another meal. Considering that my life before going raw was all about food, this is a true revelation for me!

8:30 pm Update
I can't believe I'm making it through another day of fasting. Right now I'm so hungry I can feel those faint nausea-like waves, so I'm going to make more fresh orange juice (I had 8 oz. earlier today) and make sure I have enough tea and water until I go to bed. (I really have a problem drinking enough fluids, which is remarkable when that's all I'm allowing myself to consume! ) Despite these issues- learning to drink enough and dealing with the hunger, I can see why I was able to make it through two days of fasting when, in my days of SAD eating I'd have been hard pressed just to skip two meals in a row: it's the raw diet. During this fast I've had no cravings. The hunger I felt was pure hunger rather than a desire for certain flavors or treats. These past two days I've kept the faith that the hunger would pass and could be managed, and I think I've done pretty well for myself.

I sure hope this jumpstarted my weight loss again. Fasting does crazy things to your weight, and what you lose isn't always permanent since it's often more water than fat. Still, the 3 lbs I gained from my weekend of tequila sunrises are now gone, along with an extra pound or so. Since my weight loss had basically halted, this is pure joy for me. If a one or two-day fast can break me out of a weightloss plateau, I'd surely do it every week or two (yeah, maybe not every week- ha ha!).

A Day of Serenity (with afternoon update)

(Photo: a bit of serenity at Mt. Charleston in Nevada)

I stayed out last night until about 4:00 a.m. having fun with Felicia and a new friend. We went out to dinner (seafood and salad for Fee and moi), did some walking and a lot of talking, some serious, some silly. Although I went to bed by 4:45 a.m., I still woke up refreshed by 9. Tonight I'll be going to a "poetry slam," where I'll be around a lot of positive, intellectual energy - something I truly love. I therefore woke up feeling that this is going to be a special weekend for me, so instead of immediately getting out of bed, I listened to my favorite music for a couple hours- my perfect stress release and a wonderful way to start any day. In a mellow mood, I put on Counting Crows, Silvio Rodriguez , and Guardabarranco. I envisioned my day going smoothly, and positively- indeed, my life progressing smoothly and positively. I connected what I do today with my overall life goals of finishing my Ph.D, losing this weight, and being healthy, happy and in control of my life.

I was then in a mood to do what I'm calling a mini "serenity fast," a precursor to the more serious one I'll do in the near future. My serenity fast is meant to create an uncomplicated mental, spiritual and physical environment. No meal planning, no new dishes to wash, no food to digest, no negative thinking. I'm drinking plain hot tea (spiked with my molasses), iced tea and water today.

Since I've never fasted before, I'm wondering what you all did when you got that hunger headache. I'm having one right now! One of the principles of Buddhism is about not rushing to get rid of sensations and emotions we don't like. We are always rushing to cure our headaches and hunger pangs and loneliness instead of "listening" to them and learning why they arose, experiencing them, and letting them subside naturally. I want to use my serene mood today to deal with all such stressors calmly and easily, without rushing for the food. From what some of you have already stated (and I will be compiling your wonderful stories and comments this weekend in the blog), you kinda plow through the early rough parts and are rewarded with energy and calmness afterwards.

So far I've brewed a batch of the Yogi fasting tea and have had a couple of mugs of it. I'll study this afternoon, look for more reader comments and stories about fasting and cleansing (send them in! Everyone's experiences, positive or not so positive, are welcome), attend the poetry slam, and have a wonderful day. I wish a wonderful, serene day for all of you, too.

6 pm Update
I've gone through a few strong waves of hunger, but I've stuck to my tea-drinking. I have had a couple of mugs of Yogi tea hot, as well as iced. I am not drinking enough, so my low-grade headache may go away if I drink more tea and water. Right now I'm brewing Cardamon Cinnamon tea made by The Republic of Tea. Boy, it sure smells good! I added about a tsp of molasses to my hot teal earlier but couldn't taste it at all. I'll add some to my cinnamon tea as well, as I still have a goal of 2 to 3 tablespoons of molasses a day. So far I'm not craving anything or feeling deprived. All I worry about is getting hungry during the event tonight and seeing everyone eating around me. If I can make it through that only drinking tea, I'll be very pleased with myself.

I Relented...

I know I said I was trying to get all of my nutrients from foods rather than from supplements, but I was at the store yesterday and came across biotin. So many people over the past couple of months have suggested to me that I biotin or MSM to get my hair to start regrowing that I finally relented. But will I have the same results they do? This bottle advertises its use for hair, skin and nails, and incudes MSM along with the biotin. The vitamins were on sale- get another bottle of vitamins for half price. Naturally I got vitamin D , since that's the other bane of my existence these days. I purposely did not get a mutivitamin because it is still my intention to obtain my RDA of nutrients through diet. If I get a multivitamin I'll get lazy about choosing my foods with care.

I have a vacation coming up- not one where I don't attend classes or go to work, but one where Felicia will be out of the house for a few days. That's a vacation for me because I get to do a few things on my own schedule and in my own way without affecting her. Over the past few weeks I have been dreaming up a special treat I might indulge in while she's away- something way off the beaten path. Why do I want to do this? Who knows- maybe just to test myself, or maybe just for the sheer fun of eating something that has little nutritional value for a change, dangnabbit! Isn't that what vacations are all about? I might try something as benign as sushi with rice (I've been avoiding rice). Or it might be... No, I can't tell you. Not yet. :-D

It may be that I won't indulge at all; I mean, if I really wanted to indulge in something I could have done it by now (when you're a compulsive eater you learn how to sneak)! But I've noticed that these days I can see a junky treat as being just that- a treat. A rare event in my life. I've come such a long way these past 6 months! I used to live on junk and considered healthy foods to be a rare treat (or punishment, if it was spinach). Now that healthy foods are my life, the less-nutritional foods are in their rightful category of rare indulgences. Joy!

NOTE: For those of you who are curious about the latest on Felicia's progress since she went raw, check out her journal. She continues to lose weight and is now looking into plastic surgery to deal with the loose skin she's acquired. (To those who do not know, Felicia had gastric bypass surgery in 2004 when she weighed over 350 lbs. This year she successfully turned to a raw diet to combat compulsive eating, cravings, and weight regain).

I Went Paleo Last Night!

RAW FISH AND ROE
Felicia and I visited a Japanese restaurant last night so that I could have the ikura maki I've been wanting for the past couple of weeks. Ikura maki is sushi made with roe (fish eggs), often without rice. Felicia didn't want ikura, but she was interested in what type of sushi she could have without rice. The sushi chef, Ryan, was very accomodating - in fact, he was intrigued by the challenge of making sushi without rice or fish. But something was messed up in the translation and he took it upon himself to come up with two attractive pieces of nigiri sushi made with raw tuna and raw salmon, along with a spicy cabbage made with mayonnaise (see photo). This was definitely NOT what I wanted- not a fish egg in sight! But since he was so inventive I felt obligated to eat, and I reasoned that the fish was raw, so...

Felicia is more assertive than I am and she let the chef know that I really did want ikura, not raw fish, and that because we are eating a raw diet, eating the mayonnaised vegetable would set us back on our road to health. She was very friendly about it, and the chef reacted very graciously, telling us that because this was his mistake, that we shouldn't worry about paying for it. He wouldn't take it back, suggesting that we eat it if we wanted. I went ahead and ate the raw fish out of the sushi roll, curious about what effect it might have on me. I'm pleased to report that we didn't get sick, lightning did not strike us, and the Raw Police did not surround our car after the meal!

Felicia's inventive meal consisted of cucumber, avocado, carrot, a tiny amount of marinated onion, wrapped in nori. The cucumber was sliced in a continuous, horizontal manner so as to create a long, thin sheet the width of the cucumber. This sheet was laid upon the nori, and the vegetable strips placed on top of that. Lastly, some smoked salmon was included (Felicia won't eat her fish raw). She LOVED this sushi! I will definitely make this for her at home.

OUR NUTRITIONAL CONCERNS
Both of us have been concerned about aspects of our health since going raw. Felicia is more in need of nutrient-dense meals than the average person because her gastric bypass surgery limits the amount of nutrients she gets from a meal. She also has very low iron and has felt tired on occasion. Gastric bypass patients have to pay special attention their B12 levels, sometimes requiring B12 shots. I am concerned about my hair loss, which has been linked in many medical texts to deficiencies in the B vitamins and in protein. Although I take supplements and enjoy a rare kombucha tea which provide B vitamins, I have had a chronically difficult time achieving the RDA of protein. We found that three ounces of raw salmon and tuna have between 17 and 20 grams of protein respectively. Fish roe has about 12 grams of protein for 4 tablespoons. So for a small amount of raw fish and raw fish eggs, I had about 30 grams of protein, plus the fish had 40% of the RDA of B12.

CONCLUSIONS
I prefer to get my nutrients through foods rather than through supplements. If I were to eat animal products for protein, I would prefer to eat fish rather than raw cheese. It seems more healthy to me (just my gut feeling- no knowlege behind it whatsoever). However, I don't trust my skills enough to buy, store and eat raw fish from the grocery store- too much risk of illness. I'm also not sure I want to eat raw fish or ikura regularly; a little goes a long way for me! I'd consider having salmon cooked in some way that adds only herbs and spices, but then the dilemma would be that I'm adding a cooked food to my menu. What's so bad about that? Nothing, really (well, animal rights people would disagree with that statement!)

The bottom line is that I don't belong to a cult that dictates what I eat. I have to be the one to make nutritional decisions that enhance my health and well-being. My main criteria are that I get all my necessary nutrients, and that I don't develop the cravings and bingeing that kept me overweight and unhealthy in the past. Although the majority of my diet is raw, I give myself room to explore the options out there. I do feel a little guilty about eating animal products, but I recognize that this is because I am influenced by the ideas of raw foodists around me whom I admire and whom have found success on all-raw diets. I'm not like those people, though. Are they losing their hair? No! I have to find my own way.

Book Inspiration, and a New Forum

Yesterday I read a book that validates my personal odyssey to raw health. This book, by Matthew Monarch, is called Raw Spirit. What I like about Monarch is that he speaks to what I believe to be true about my journey; that it is a personal one, that there is no "one size fits all" method for transitioning to raw, or any particular "percentage" raw that one has to be. I believe that we can all learn from each other about the process of going raw and staying raw, but I get very annoyed when I come across people who are preachy about how their way is "the right way" and all other ways are wrong. My philosophy is that the Right Way is the way that keeps you healthy and happy.

In my own journey to raw health, I've had a few missteps: eating too much of one type of food until I get bored to tears, eating raw cheddar and finding that it brought back my old cravings and desire to binge, believing there is one raw guru I should follow. Monarch addresses these issues with some personal stories of his own missteps. He came to the conclusion that one should not follow one particular person's teachings- something I'd whole-heartedly come to believe myself. There are little bons mots to be found among the teachings of all sorts of raw food advocates; over time we find what works for us and reject what doesn't- maybe permanently, or maybe until a later date when we are ready to try what didn't fit us before. For example, I am against colonics because they are unnatural, yet I can understand how some raw foodists believe that our unnatural, modern lifestyle calls for such unnatural therapies. So even though I wouldn't have one myself, I wouldn't preach to others not to do them or to do them- you have to research the topic thoroughly and make an educated decision for yourself.

I recommend Monarch's book for new raw foodists because it is open-minded, easy to read, and reassuring to those of us who tend to forge out on our own like the Fool in the Tarot deck. It was only $12.95 and is a quick read. I'll keep it around to bring myself back down to earth if I start to get too rigid about any one aspect of my raw food odyssey!

Now to introduce a project I've been nervously working on over the past few weeks:


The Raw Odyssey Café was inspired by the comments that I get on both of my mirror sites of Raw Odyssey. So many people leave great comments, tips and tricks, recipe ideas, etc. but because I have two sites you don't get to read what each other has written. I like the idea of people talking to each other because what I learn from you is useful to others as well. Plus, I like the idea of community- that, to me, is the true spirit and purpose of the internet. (Must be the sociologist in me).

The idea behind the Café is that we can talk about all the sorts of topics that come up on a journey to raw health- good and the bad, because both exist! Why pretend they don't? We can work through problems and challenges by asking questions, offering ideas, and talking about what worked for us personally. The board is a family-friendly, non-threatening place to talk about the doubts, confusion and fears we might have, as well as the great stuff like improved health, weight loss, control over cravings, better skin, mental alertness, etc.

The Raw Odyssey Café takes advantage of a free message board service, so I can't control all aspects of it. I noticed a few times during heavy traffic periods that the board can't accept connections for a few minutes. If that becomes too huge a problem I might have to try another location, but when you're poor and using a free service, you can't complain too much!

I'm not going for a blockbuster, wildly popular board- just a fun, informative place for Raw Odyssey readers to commune, debate, discuss, inform, support and celebrate! If the board is successful in its modest goals, it will evolve over time to adjust to needs. Right now there are a handful of posts in different sections to get things started but YOU- raw foodists and raw-curious- are what make a message board, so come join the party at

rawodyssey.forumer.com

See you there.

Nothing Better than Watermelon on a Hot Day

Watermelon
Originally uploaded by rawallison.

Watermelon is one of those fruits that you might think you can eat all you want of, but it does have calories. I swear I can eat half a watermelon (4 to 5 lbs) easily in a day- well, if that were all I ate. That's almost 700 calories! A whole watermelon would be a day's worth of calories for the average "dieting" woman.

SUSHI
My cravng for ikura maki has subsided some, probably because I can't afford it right now. Drage was kind enough to send a comment with a link to VegWeb's (http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=8515.0ve) recipe for sushi. I actually have made raw sushi before, similarly to what is mentioned on the page, and it's not bad at all. It'll do while I deal with my ikura craving! Thank you for the link.

RAW FOOD FOR LIFE
I weighed myself and found I am around 282! Wow. As a raw foodist I find I have more faith that I will continue to lose weight steadily (including plateaus!) and that I won't regain the weight after I reach my goal. I can't say I've ever trusted that feeling on any type of eating plan I've been on in the past because I fought cravings the whole way down the scale. (And I don't mean cravings like my "craving" for ikura maki. I mean cravings to stuff myself with salty, fatty and sugary foods until I literally couldn't fit anything else inside me). I really feel I can eat raw for life.

I've tried that "this is a lifestyle, not a diet" way of thinking before, but I was still fighting cravings and compulsive eating binges, so it was more of an affirmation than a belief. On raw foods, I don't feel that I have to overcome any eating disorders or cravings, so saying I can do this for life means something very different than it did before. Overall, losing weight by eating raw is such a different experience that I have to shed the old way of thinking altogether!

May 1st, 2006: Beginning My 5th Month Raw

FOUR MONTHS ALREADY?
Four months living a raw lifestyle has really gone by quickly! I can still remember individual weeks - the week I discovered the local raw restaurant, the week I first tried nut burgers, the week I used enoki mushrooms in my sushi, the week I felt sick after eating raw cauliflower, the week I realized my hair was really falling out and it wasn't my imagination (that was a bad week)... Eventually there will be too many weeks to remember individually; eating raw will not seem as new as it still does. The fact that I'm still learning new things keeps raw feeling new to me. Taking new vitamins, shifting my menu around to emphasize different food groups, eating a variety of fruits and vegetables as they come into season- all of this keeps raw new for me.

I don't think that eating raw will ever feel "old" in a bad way, though. When I no longer feel raw is new to me, it'll probably be because I am comfortable with the lifestyle changes I've made and will feel that eating raw is second nature. Maybe when eating raw is truly part of my consciousness instead of being this new lifestsyle I'm trying, I'll find that I eat a limited number of foods- a wide variety of types of foods, but limited in that I won't need to try every nut, seed, fruit and vegetable out there. I also envision that I'll be eating less of the dehydrated stuff and more foods in their natural state or perhaps blended or juiced occasionally.

CRAVINGS
You know what I crave these days? SUSHI! It's a real craving because I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I might give in and have some ikura maki. That's the sushi made with raw fish eggs - salmon roe to be specific. Sort of like Japanese caviar. I don't think it's rice I'm craving, since I've had ikura maki with no rice. I wonder what it is about sushi that I'm craving? The salt? I get salt in my diet so I doubt it's that. Could there be some nutrient in sushi that my body is missing? I don't know when or if I'll actually eat some, but I'm thinking about it!

Felicia's Story: A Gastric Bypass Patient Goes Raw- PART II of II

Photos: Felicia, Winter 2005 before going raw / Today, after going raw

In Part I, Felicia discussed her experience after gastric bypass surgery. In Part II, Felicia talks about having to deal with her food addictions after losing over 150 lbs, and how she decided to try a raw lifestyle.

______________

For me it started with admitting that I could visibly see without a shadow of a doubt that I had a problem. It sounds so cliché but I can honestly say that I know where it comes from. I sat in my house running from room to room (I hid the cookies in the guest room) munching on cookies until the bag was gone. When I weighed myself at the end of the week I had gained about eight pounds. I was sick! I don’t mean physically (though I should have been) but sick with remorse, guilt, frustration and whatever other emotion you want to attach to this. I HAD to do something because I had read stories of OTHER bypass patients gaining all their weight back, but that would NEVER be me. PSYCH! It was becoming me; with a vengeance!

Enter Allison; gently coaxing me to join her in the raw food revolution. She had been there all along, whispering sweet benefits of being raw. Her depression had lifted; she was losing weight at the rate of a gastric bypass patient. She wasn’t craving anymore and she seemed to genuinely be satisfied with the lifestyle and willing to stick to it. I couldn’t do a thing to make her “cheat”. I wasn’t interested though, I had all kinds of reasons why I wouldn’t be able to do this. I wasn’t strong enough to adhere to all the rules of being raw. I felt like if I couldn’t eat my favorites then I couldn’t eat anything… and I surely couldn’t survive on a raw diet. After my “Costco” episode I started to “hear” her calling me to her side. I guess I was ready to listen, because I knew my life depended on it.

I said I would do it, but only for one week because I could not possibly survive anything more! That week was hard. I craved and I compensated by overeating all the fruits and veggies that I wanted. The sky was the limit, and I said to myself if I can’t have cake, damn it I am going to have 4 bananas! They are sweet delicious goodness! I was making fruit pies, and drinking fruit smoothies. I made my version of raw cookies and tried my hand at other raw deserts. The only problem with that was that my GAS(troentestinal) problems became even worse with all the fruit I was eating. Sugar is sugar folks!

At first I didn’t care. My week came and went, I decided by the end of the week NOT that it wasn’t so bad, NOT that I wasn’t having cravings because I thought that I still experienced craving, NOT that I was ok with doing this for the rest of my life but I had lost my eight pounds and that was good enough to keep at it for at least another week. By the end of the second week my problems with gas continued to bother me and those around me. I told Allison that I thought maybe my body was trying to tell me something… maybe this diet isn’t so healthy for me and that I should cease immediately and go back to the old way of eating. After all I was having problems. But the problem was that I was still eating too much fruit and through education and common sense I had to stop drinking smoothies and eating more fruit than actual food. By the time I looked up I was three weeks into the program, jamming in the kitchen; trying my hand at new creations by Felicia… yada yada yada and that brings me up to the present.

I can’t say that this was an easy journey as much as it was necessary. I don’t feel like it’s over but I certainly feel like my eating is more manageable since I went raw. I say on my obesityhelp profile that things are clearer for me since I started this program. Before with all the sugar, the little voices in my head were always turned on and revved up; telling me to eat this and eat that. Now, they are still there but they are muted by the other little revved up voices that say “good job”, “you’re finally in control”, “keep up the good work”, “how about a nice tasty salad?”, “it looks like we are going to achieve our goal this time”. It would be awfully hard to ignore the newer, friendlier voices these days. It would be a deliberate and extremely conscious move on my part that I am not willing to make. I feel like I could do this raw thing forever because I like being rid of my bigger problem which is my food addiction.

Although I still think I can eat more than a gastric bypass patient should be able to eat, I feel blessed that I can eat a normal amount of food. Now that I am paving a path to good nutrition and health I feel that eating a regular amount should not be a problem. I feel confident that what I am putting in my body is helping me and I feel really proud to be able to say that day by day I am further and further away from my old, bad habits and on my way to a healthy lifetime of good, new RAW habits!

Thank you Allison… MWAH!

______________

NOTE: Felicia started eating raw March 26th, at 215 lbs. Today, almost 5 weeks later, she is at 197 and counting. If you'd like to visit Felicia's gastric bypass journal, you can click this link.


gastricbypass rawfood rawodyssey weightloss

I'm Renewing My Search for Raw Protein Sources

(Photo: Salad)

I'm really concerned about my hair loss! This has been my theme for the past month or so. I'm still focusing on protein as the problem, and I am finding that it really isn't as easy to add protein to my diet as I thought it would be. Here are my challenges so far:

• I don't like the taste of the KAL brewer's yeast, so I find it hard to eat
• Nuts and seeds are high in fat
• Tofu and soybeans are "bad for you"
• Cheese (raw or otherwise) is high in fat
• Romaine is a great source of whole protein, but with 6 oz of romaine in a green smoothie, I'd have to drink 5 smoothies just to get 11 grams of protein.
• Hemp and Ezekiel are expensive loaves of bread!
  

So while there is no doubt I can get protein on a raw diet, it's surprisingly hard for me to consistently get ENOUGH in a way that is both practical and enjoyable. If it weren't for the hair thing, I'd say I was doing perfectly well on raw, because I feel fine, sleep very well, have enough energy to get me through the day, don't have cravings, etc. I really feel healthy, and of course I've lost almost 60 lbs now. But hair loss means something is going on. Guess I'll have to find time for that blood test ASAP.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Today I visited a job fair right before classes. Although I had a green smoothie and trail mix before leaving, I had nothing to eat and little to drink for several hours thereafter. Bad Idea. I knew I wasn't going to make it through class because I was already getting a headache. I've discovered that often when I get my headaches it's because I haven't had water in a few hours. These headaches can also come when I'm hungry, but if I remember to try water first, sometimes they'll go away without my eating anything.

Speaking of water, it's still amazing to me that I drink mostly water these days. I used to HATE water -it was like punishment! Of course, I lived on Pepsi in those days, and everything paled in comparison to that. I'm thrilled that I haven't touched Pepsi since December, 2005- especially since there is Pepsi in the house right this minute! It's been in our pantry ever since that barbecue we had, and I haven't craved it or really even thought about it. As regular readers of this blog know, the most significant benefit I have experienced by turning to raw foods is the cessation of cravings and bingeing. Pepsi does not "call" to me anymore. No longer do I need willpower to keep myself from drinking Pepsi or eating junk. I am simply disinterested.

Wednesday, April 5, 2006

Today I had two hummus sandwiches using hemp bread, which I'd bought for its protein content (7 grams per slice). Unfortunately, I found out that it is not flourless. I'm not too upset about it since it isn't causing me to have any cravings or desires to binge. However, I won't buy any more since I prefer Ezekiel bread. In the evening I had a smoothie into which I blended some coconut meat from the Thai coconut I bought on Sunday. I didn't put enough in to actually taste it, so that's an experiment I'll have to try again.

That's all to report- another short and sweet entry!

WEEKLY SUMMARY for Week 9 of My Raw Odyssey

A DECENT WEEK

This week I had my first meal at a non-raw/non-salad bar restaurant, and things went really well. I had one of the healthier choices on the menu, made a few adjustments to it, and everything was fine. No cravings, no bingeing, no feelings of guilt or deprivation. That's success!

I've gotten a few pieces of advice on the blogs for how to make my meals more tasty. Ren suggests flavors like chili pepper and wasabi (I love wasabi!) for my sushi. Good idea- I don't know why I've stayed away from wasabi all this time. I was probably concentrating too much on the nama shoyu for all my flavor.

Chubbiegirl, who is gluten free, suggests I do what she does:

"i take half of an avocado (all of this is diced or in it's small natural state), red pepper, carrots, a slice of onion-or chives, corn (i use organic frozen), pistachios, and raisins. then i mix up a dressing of honey, cilantro, jalapeno, salt, apple cider vinegar, lime and olive oil. i just whip it up in the blender or small chopper. it should be sweet and spicey. i dress the veggie mix with this and spoon it into a red cabbage leaf. it's super yummy.you could use any salad veggie you like. i've also used snap peas, cucumber, etc... the dressing can also be varied. try nama shoyu or braggs with sesame oil for flavor".

That sounds great! Thanks a lot for that idea.

THIS WEEK'S WEIGHT LOSS

I lost only 1 pound this week. I'm happy in general, but of course disappointed that the weight that I have made "magical" (299) was not achieved this week. But it's pretty cool that I lost a pound despite the increase in my fat intake and point count- I ate more food this week than I have in a while, and feel great. If I wanted to lose weight more quickly, I could probably go back to eating only fruit for breakfast because I usually end up eating fewer points that day. I've found myself de-emphasizing the fruit breakfast in order to get higher-fat foods in. Despite my desire to lose weight quickly, I prefer to feel satisfied after a good meal; I really don't want this to feel like "dieting," where I deliberately eat less even though I'm hungry. To this end I will strive to:

• Continue to count points instead of calories

Since I'm eating raw, I don't worry about "bad food" and "good food" in my diet the way I did when eating SAD, so I can focus on eating enough to feel satisfied and to be healthy. Points are working better for me than calories in this regard.

• Have fruit for breakfast

This gives me a good start for the day. I'm less hungry first thing in the morning so a light meal like fruit works great before 10 a.m. I can save my fattier meals for when I need them in the afternoon. I just have to make sure I eat enough!

• Consider losing the scale for a while

Ren, who gives me lots of good advice on the blog, mentioned that I should stop looking at the scale. I've tried that in the past, and it is very helpful for people who are obsessed with their weight loss (or with reaching 299 lbs!). I should try it because concentrating too much on the scale turns my raw odyssey into more of an old-style weight-loss diet than a new lifestyle. Of course, I switched to raw primarily to lose weight, so I have a keen interest in my progress. How to deal with these two issues? Well, since an addiction to the scale is counter productive, I will probably ween myself off it. Don't know how yet, but I'll figure something out. SAD habits die hard!

NUTRIENTS

Calories..................................1008 to 1758
Weight Watcher's Points:.....Average of 30 points per day
Fat..........................................52g to 77g
Carbs......................................80g to 177g
Protein...................................24g to 55g


WEIGHT LOSS
STARTED WEEK AT: 301
ENDED WEEK AT: 300
TOTAL LOST SINCE JANUARY 1ST 2006: 42 lbs.


COMPARISONS TO PREVIOUS SUMMARIES

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