Getting those B's for Hair, Skin and Mental Health

This past week I’ve had a harder time keeping to my chosen food list than usual. Stress from adjusting to my academic and work schedule still has me turning to food more than I’d like. Still, I am being careful and although I gained a pound one week, I’m now down 32 lbs total since early June. In 18 more pounds I’ll have lost my goal of 50 for the year. I believe it is doable, and I’m looking forward to reaching that first milestone.

I asked my nutritionist about the B-Complex vitamins she is giving me. She is so confident that they will help me regrow my hair and process proteins that I decided to look up B-Complex vitamins online. I found that they are really 8 unrelated nutrients: Biotin, Cyanocobalamin, Folic Acid, Niacin, Pantothenic Acid, Pyridoxine, Riboflavin, and Thiamin. Individually, they perform different tasks, such as breaking down proteins, fats and carbohydrates, and helping with the health of your skin, hair, eyes, mouth and liver -and even with the muscles of your intestinal tract and stomach. Biotin is the one associated with hair health. Niacin is related to healthy skin and lifting depression. Pyridoxine is related to the proteins.

Now, I know I can get these B vitamins pretty easily from foods. According to the list I found at http://ezinearticles.com/?Vitamin-B-Complex---What-Are-Those-B-Vitamins-And-Why-Is-Your-Body-Desperate-For-Them?&id=769824, I should include the following foods (I’ve subtracted the non-vegan ones) in my diet:

Vitamin B1 or Thiamine: beans, wheat bran, peanuts, and sunflower seeds.

Vitamin B2 or Riboflavin: whole grains, legumes vegetables (green leafy), nuts.

Vitamin B3 or Niacin: green leafy vegetables, seeds, asparagus, legumes, cereals, peanut yeast, nuts, and coffee.

Vitamin B5 or Pantothenic Acid: whole wheat, whole rye, torula yeast, nuts, mushrooms, legumes, vegetables, brewer’s yeast.

Vitamin B6 or Piridoxine: walnuts, wheat germ, peas, carrots, and brewer’s yeast.

Vitamin B7 or Biotin: nuts, brewers yeast, spinach, mushroom, and cauliflower.

Vitamin B9 or Folic Acid: whole grains, beans, starchy vegetables, fruit, broccoli, and spinach.

Vitamin B12 or Coalmine: (only found in animals)

I already eat all of these foods except peanuts, asparagus, cereals, mushrooms, and yeast (yuck!). But I can honestly say I wasn’t eating them in large amounts. In fact, I didn’t start purposely eating more grains and nuts until recently. My VitaMix (on my wish list!) will help with the leafy greens, and I’ll continue with the nuts, seeds and grains. I’ve been trying to get used to snacking on carrots during the day- I guess that’s a good thing since it is in the Piridoxine list (protein assistance). But the main thing is to eat a variety of foods rather than focusing on just the “hair” or “protein breakdown” nutrients. And getting our vitamins from foods is always better than getting them from a pill. Still, I’m going to continue taking the vitamins for a while because I’m curious to see whether my hair, my complexion, and even the slight ridges in my fingernails improve over the next couple of months. Over time, though, I’ll replace the pills with food sources.

45 Minutes on the Elliptical Trainer

I am TIRED- but again, it's a good tired. I didn't think I could last that long on the E.T. but somehow, one song at a time, I made it to 45 minutes. I know I burned a decent amount of calories because I was sweating at 30 minutes the way I usually am when on the treadmill. I did 3.82 miles total and burned about 650 calories, according to Sparkpeople. I take the calorie-burning totals with a grain of salt, but as long as I burned more calories than through walking, I'm happy. Besides, after eating so much yesterday, burning off extra calories is a very good thing.

Today I had fat free cottage cheese and fruit about an hour before my workout. Cottage cheese is a good source of protein. For my late lunch I am having 2 turkey burgers with an oz of feta cheese for the fat, 2 slices of Ezekiel bread, and a cup of cauliflower. By the way, I am multitasking. I'm utilizing the 107 degree heat to give myself a southwestern hot oil treatment! I put olive oil in my hair after my shower, wrapped it in Saran wrap, put a hat on, and now I'm lounging on the balcony eating my healthy lunch, drinking iced tea, and typing out the blog. This is the life! The fan I have blowing on me is making the dry heat bearable.

I should add that my hair is looking halfway decent. I had gotten it straightened in May to assess how well it has grown out since my all-raw/low protein diet caused my hair to thin noticeably last year (I repeat the hair history for new readers). It's still not thick like it used to be, but with the new growth since May, my scalp is not so easy to see and I feel much better about my appearance. As I morph my diet into a vegetarian one, my complexion will start to look better again, too.

June, 2007

STARTING OVER. AGAIN.
I'm sitting here in my lovely apartment after a 40 minute treadmill workout feeling pretty good: proud, capable and confident! It's been a loooong time since I've done anything decent with my health, and I have been paying the price with all the predictable effects - the weight gain, bad complexion, poor fitness level, lowered energy, not-very-happy-mood, low self esteem, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. But last week I was ready to get back on the wagon, so up I hopped. I have lost about 8 lbs (the first week is always mostly water), and today I started working out.

PROGRAM AND GOALS

Fitness
To get me back into the gym, I found a personal trainer. Today was my first meeting with her. She recorded my BMI, measurements and starting weight. I have to get a doctor's release before we truly begin to work out, but she wants me to do 40 minutes on the treadmill at only 2.5 mph, 0 incline, 5 days a week. As my cardiovascular fitness improves we'll increase the speed and incline level. Eventually we'll add weights and do a 30-minute circuit training type of workout (ugh). I can only afford her once a week right now, but that's all right.

Weight
My initial weight goal is to lose about 30 lbs in three months. My overall goal is to reach 160 lbs by the time I earn my doctorate in 2009.


FOOD
Although my goal is to eat a "high raw" (not all raw) diet, I am starting out cautiously. Last time I started raw I jumped in with both feet and lost 25 lbs in one month, and about 1/4 of my hair. I want to lose weight quickly, but not with that kind of side effect! I'm still growing my hair back and it looks better, one year later. I stopped wearing a wig last month- scary move, but a happy occasion.

My previous raw diet was very low in protein so this time around I plan to ensure that I get enough of it. Since I love nigiri sushi, I will be getting some of my protein raw. These past two weeks I've been having a fruit smoothie with protein powder every morning, low-fat vegetable or vegetable/bean soups for lunch, and then salads with some sort of cheese for dinner. For a snack I eat raw cashews and almonds. My trainer wants me to stop eating cheese and nuts, and to not do protein supplements. She recommends I eat oatmeal, egg whites and brown rice, all of which I am willing to do for a little while as I establish myself in this new health routine. She knows I am avoiding all red meats and fowl but I didn't go into the whole future raw thing with her- I'll do that later!

Now, I'm not sure if I like what my trainer is having me do for food: she uses the volume method for determining portion sizes rather than counting calories or food values. I mean, how do you determine an index finger's worth of olive oil? She admits that this is "ambiguous" but wants me to try it out before I completely reject it. We'll see how it goes but I am already not overjoyed with the foods or the portion-control method.

HOW TODAY WENT

I am SO out of shape it is pitiful. She did a stress test on me and wanted me to stop when my heart rate went back down to 119, but it never went below 130! My resting pulse was 80. She set me up to do 40 minutes on the treadmill at 2.5 mph. When she left, I experimented with raising the incline to .5 and then 1, and raising the speed to 2.7 - just little changes to see how my heart rate was affected. She wants me to stay between 117 and 144 beats per minute and I did that, but overall I only achieved 1.75 miles in 41 minutes. I'm very impatient and want to go faster than that, but I know I have to start slowly. The good thing is that I can only get better, and it'll be fun seeing the improvement. My arms and my neck are a little sore, and I'm sure my legs will be sore tomorrow, but my iPod will help to distract me from pain when I work out tomorrow.

Well that's it for today. I'm about to see what I can eat for dinner! A fist-sized portion of something...

I'm Never Eating Again!

(Photo: teas for my upcoming fast)

What a terrible day I had today. I've been off my raw diet for almost 2 weeks and I feel it has caught up to me. On one day this week the skin on my left cheek hurt really badly- my cheeks had been more darkly pigmented than the rest of my face but had cleared up once I started eating raw. Now the skin is getting a bit rough again and my cheek hurt so badly I could barely touch it! Another thing: I've been congested for days- stuffed and runny nose. I feel (gross-out alert): "mucous-y" as well as "heavy" and slow- like a weight is constraining me. Another thing (prudish people alert): my breasts hurt VERY badly for several days this week. I think it was from all the sodium. I'm just falling apart, people!! At work today I felt all out of kilter, as if I had too many things to do and not enough time to do it. I just needed solitude so I could think. And tonight as I was washing dishes I knocked over a glass and cut my finger rather deeply. I refuse to get stitches, so here I type with one bandaged index finger looking as nasty as I feel.

But waiting for me is the menagerie of teas you see in the photo above. I am so ready for a fast. I need to clean out my body and my mind because I feel like a trash can. I know I can easily fast with water alone for a couple of days, but I decided to make the experience more interesting and flavorful by trying out a bunch of teas I've never had. I made sure they had no fructose, "organic cane juice" (who do they think they're kidding with that one?) or other sugars- except for the Kombucha teas, whose 4 gms of sugars per bottle come from the fruit. I limited myself to 3 kombuchas for this fast.

I didn't pick the teas with any expectation that they will do what they claim; the detox and fasting teas claim to help you in those two areas but if they aren't any more special than any other teas I won't have a fit. I just liked the idea of using a tea called "fasting" and a tea called "detox" while I fast and envision myself detoxifying. I will have molasses daily during my fast, and since I have 5 mangoes, I will have a mango a day until they run out so as not to waste them. I bought a 24-pack of bottled water from Costco as well. How long will I fast? As long as I can stand it. I want to go further than the two days I did before because I remember that on day three I felt better than day two, and if I can make it past day 3, I might make it a week! I will monitor myself to ensure I don't dehydrate or feel weak, etc. (yes, nurse Pam, I said that for YOU!). :-)

I have magazines -Shambala Sun, Tricycle and Yoga - to help me get into a nice, calm mode for the weekend. I also have a lot of studying to do, which should keep my mind occupied as I fast.

So there you have it- I'm undergoing a holistic deep-cleaning this weekend.

I want to say thank you to all of you who have sent me well wishes, urged me to not think poorly of myself, reminded me of how far I've come, sent virtual hugs, shared their experiences with falling off the wagon, and told me to not say bad things about my hair. ;-D

An Assessment of My Raw Journey Thus Far

Roooth (love the name!) suggested I recap my adventures after seven months on this raw food odyssey. I thought that was a good idea. After all, I've made it past half a year and haven't quit yet! For the first time in my life, thanks to my mostly raw diet, I feel I have almost total control over my eating. I won't say 100% control - maybe 98%. I thought I would take a Body, Mind and Spirit approach to my assessment.


BODY
I started 2006 with high hopes of losing weight, lowering my cholesterol and blood pressure, getting back into the gym after losing about 100 lbs, and experiencing a general improvement in all things physical. I've done all these things except reach the 100 lb mark- but I'm getting there. My quality of life has gone up quite a bit as my weight has gone down and allowed me to be more mobile and pain-free. The most important body issue is the connection I can now make between what I eat and what happens to me physically. I can see my complexion roughening up if I eat a certain food. I can see that my skin is much less dry and flaky when I drink enough water AND have enough oils. I can tell the difference between hungry and thirsty and between hungry and bored!

MIND
Many people who eat mostly or totally raw have talked about wonderful mental changes that occur- more alertness and a sense of vitality, for example. Better memory, too. None of those things have happened to me yet. However, a major improvement is that I fall asleep more rapidly, sleep more soundly, and stay asleep for a longer time than I have since the early 90s! I used to dread waking up in the middle of the night because oftentimes if I managed to fall asleep again, it would be hours later. These days, if I wake up in the middle of the night, I fall asleep again within minutes. I also don't linger in bed all groggy in the morning. I'm usually ready to get up right away (even if I don't want to!). The depression I suffered before going raw lifted pretty early on. I still have plenty of worries that cause me stress, anxiety and chest pains, but I don't have that depression where I felt completely helpless and overwhelmed. I guess that means I feel more energized or motivated or something- my mind is stronger!

SPIRIT
I haven't had that spiritual awakening that some raw folks talk about; no miracles have happened and I don't feel closer to God (sorry, Mom) but I think that those who have experienced that are very lucky people and I am truly happy for them. I used to study Buddhism and got into vipassana meditation, but strayed from it a couple of years ago when I felt I had reached an impasse. Lately I've been working my way back to it. In fact, I wonder if my healthy eating habits will make meditation easier- one of the things I struggled with.

Since my weekend of fast food and ice cream, I think I feel more aware of the immense change I've made in my diet and the positive effects the changes have had on me since January. I think I feel more in tune with my body, as if it isn't my enemy the way it used to be. In other words, now that I'm taking care of it, I'm feeling more of a union with it. I still hate the way it looks, but I realize that this is more about my not possessing society's idea of attractiveness than anything else. On the other hand, I don't strive to a be a beauty- just a healthy person! Being overweight or having bad skin are simply reminders that I'm not totally healthy yet, so that's what I have to focus on. Getting back into my Buddhist studies helps me to remember to not get attached to superficial concerns like beauty anyway.

So that's where I stand in the second half of year one. I'm thinking that I can eat this way indefinitely, with a few treats here and there. I know I'm not "cured" of my past eating disorders- I sincerely believe that the monster is lurking and can be awakened if I overdo the foods that are wrong for me. When I'm extremely bored or very worried (about exams, paying bills, etc.) I want to eat, eat and eat some more. But I envision my future as one featuring a mostly raw diet, regular physical exercise, and a calm spirituality. I know that mind, body and spirit are all connected, so I plan to carefully tend to each of these areas and to not flog myself when I screw up. Everything has been a beneficial learning experience so far, and I've got much more to learn.

Progress is Being Made

Whew- I've been having trouble posting to this blog due to network and/or server issues. Now, I've got computer problems! Hopefully these issues won't cause additional missed blogs in the future.

I've had a very good week so far. I've made some adjustments by going back to eating salads daily, and cutting down just a bit on the nuts. I've had no fish this week, but have eaten low-fat cottage cheese for my protein. In fact, I've made cottage cheese my breakfast, eating it before leaving for work so that I can take my biotin/MSM combo for my hair. I've also cut down on the molasses since it's not the most pleasant experience- still, I take a couple of tablespoons a day. I've been eating fresh fruit this week: cherries, grapes and honeydew melon. I've been taking a calcium/Vitamin D supplement as well. So much for not taking any supplements!

I've noticed a couple of changes that I'm continuing to keep my eyes on: my complexion, which last week I noted has gotten a bit rougher, seems to have started to smooth up again. To make sure this isn't wishful thinking I won't say it's a sure thing for a couple of weeks, I guess. The same for my hair: it continues to break off less than it was before, but there is no evidence of new growth in the areas that thinned out. My fingers are crossed, though.

I've done pretty well with water over the past month. I freeze 30 oz. of water overnight so that I have cold water at work all day. I actually drink more than 30 oz. because I add water to the bottle during the day. I'm not noticing too much action on the scale, although it has eased down very slowly over the past week. I've developed a blase attitude about losing any more weight between now and the start of the Fall semester. Why aggravate myself? I should worry more about going to the gym regularly!

Almost Seven Months Raw- Then and Now

(Photo: My blood pressure and pulse reading this week- not bad!)

(Note- I know there's a typo or two in here but I can't find them!)

When I first started this blog, I was a pretty sad person. I was tired of being overweight, depressed that I hadn't figured out how to keep the weight off, and was suffering from physical ailments that decreased the quality of my life. They say that when you start to feel that you are not making progress in your new healthy habits, it's good to look back at where you started. Since I'm thinking about having some decidedly not-raw treats over the next few - and because I've been frustrated over bouncing within the same weight range for many, many weeks- I thought this might be a good time to compare where I stand today to where I was on January 1st, 2006 when I first embarked on my Raw Odyssey. Below are entries (with some paraphrasing for succinctness) from my first blog entry, followed by comments about how things have changed since I went raw.

OVERVIEW
First of all, I started at 341 lbs. I am 5′6". In 2001 I started to regain the 190 lbs I'd just lost and eventually reached that weight, size 30. I couldn't walk from the car to the grocery store door without running out of breath, nor could I read a passage from a book out loud without stopping frequently to breathe. I had obstructive sleep apnea and qualified for gastric bypass surgery. My doctor said it also appeared I had developed asthma. I couldn't wash the dishes for more than a few minutes due to the pain in my back. If I went to the mall I had to sit down frequently because I was tired and in pain. My arms and hip felt like they were pulling out of their sockets. My knee and leg felt so week that climbing stairs was scary because I feared collapsing.

Things sure are different today- despite having over 100 lbs left to lose, I'm much healthier and happier. Check it out with me:

THEN
-Eyes water for a couple of hours each morning
-Stuffy nose/post-nasal drip
-Sneezing in the morning
-Sides of tongue hurt for days at a time
-Bad gums (probably gum disease)
-Stiff neck and back

NOW
My eyes still water from time to time and I sneeze once in a while, but I'm not "suffering" the way I used to, and no stuffy nose these days. My tongue stopped hurting after my first week eating raw. I've yet to see a dentist (no insurance) so I can't say much about the dental issues yet, but the stiff neck and back are largely gone. I only seem to get them these days from carrying my heavy bookbag or working out.

THEN
-Blotchy complexion, some acne
-Low grade headache in morning, sometimes throughout day
-Severe lower back pain all the time
-Pain in knees

NOW
My complexion cleared up amazingly after being raw for a few months. It happened gradually, but the teeny bumps and darker pigmentation on my cheeks went away. Those of you who have followed this blog for a while know that I recently added smoked salmon and increased the amount of cheese I eat so that I could get more protein in my battle aganst hair loss (which started after eating raw helped me to lose a huge amount of weight in a short amount of time). Since adding those foods, the roughness in my complexion has slightly reappeared. Proof positive of the beneficial effect that a raw diet has on my skin- and I do love evidence! It is making me reconsider the salmon. I have no more daily headeaches, but I did develop headaches when I was eating smoked salmon from Trader Joe's and grocery stores. When I started getting my salmon from Costco the headaches stopped.

THEN
-Depression
-Low energy, low stamina
-Uneven sleeping patterns
-Often feel hot
-Very noisy digestive system
-chronically dry skin

NOW
I noticed relatively early on that my depression just kind of melted away. I still tend towards depressive thinking when I'm stressed out, but I don't LIVE depressed the way I did before.
I'm not sure that my energy level has increased, but I definitely sleep better. It used to take me hours sometimes to fall asleep. Since starting raw I've fallen asleep within 15 minutes sometimes, and I sleep through the night soundly.
I still often feel hot. When I was a size 10 I was always cold. I'd love to feel cold again because it's hot here in the southwest. Guess I've still got too much insulation!
My digestive system was embarrasingly noisy in the old days and guess what? Since adding the fish and increasing the cheese, the noise has started up again. More proof that my body seems to like my more-purely raw diet better than the one I've morphed to. I'm definitely reconsidering the fish.
My skin is still dry, but no more alligator legs! I drink water all day and really miss it when I don't have any on me. Water comprises 95% of what I drink; the only other beverage I drink is kombucha tea from Wild Oats and Whole Foods, usually once a week or so.

THEN
-Resting heartrate = 80s and 90s
-341 pounds (about 200 lbs to lose)
My blood pressure is high
-My cholesterol is over 200.
-I am anemic.

NOW
Check out the photo up top- that was my blood pressure and resting heart rate this weekend at a pharmacy. My recent blood tests show my cholesterol to be in the 170s with the good and bad cholesterols both at healthy levels. I'm at 272 lbs these days and I'm not anemic any longer. I'm a size 22W.

EATING HABITS

THEN
-Salt, caffiene and sugar make up a large part of what I eat.
-Pepsi, some days, is the only thing I drink. Other days I drink very little of anything.
-High saturated fat and trans-fat

NOW
I consume no caffeine at all. My sodium levels were fine until- you guessed it: I added the fish and increased the cheese. (I am really reconsidering that fish....) I've had no Pepsi since December 31st 2005. I'm conscientious about drinking enough water and although I'm not perfect, I do have an average of 7 eight-oz. servings of water a day, I'd say. My diet consists of no trans-fats. The only saturated fats I get are the healthy, plant-based kind.

FITNESS LEVEL
THEN
-Fitness? What fitness? I can’t climb one short set of stairs without huffing and puffing. If I have to hurry down the street even a little, I’m breathing heavily for a ridiculous amount of time.

NOW
Today, even at over 100 lbs overweight, I can run up a flight of stairs (I know this because I've been doing it at work since last week!) My knee and leg are FINE- so fine I forgot I ever had a problem with them (or with my shoulders, for that matter, until re-reading my first blog entry). When I visited the gym last week, I actually ran a little on the treadmill, too- so there!

CONCLUSIONS
All I can say is WOW- I'm so glad I re-read my first post! I've come a long way. I've learned a lot, too. The biggest lessons I've learned are that 1) junk foods have strong psychological and physical effects on me, and 2) My raw odyssey must be tailored to my lifestyle and body and no one else's 3) It's a good thing to experiment and to try new things. If something doesn't work for me, it doesn't work. There's nothing bad or good about that; I just have to adjust and find what does work. The fish and cheese thing, for example. I'll probably end up cutting out the fish and keeping low-fat cheese on my menu (cottage cheese comes to mind).


Now, does all of this mean I'm not going to have a few junky treats over the next few days? Truthfully, I don't know if I will or won't, but I'll be keeping in mind where I used to be. To those who wrote to me warning me not to overdo it, thank you very much. I'll be careful! I'm kinda hoping any treat I have makes me queasy so that it'll be easy to cross it off my list. I'm not doing anything until Friday, at the earliest.

Trying to Create the "Perfect" Nutritional Menu

TODAY'S MEALS
I spent much of today out of the house, which posed a problem for my diet. I had protein in the morning: about 2 oz. of fish, 2 oz. of cheese curds (from Wild Oats), Ezekiel bread and dried fruit. Yes, a motley grouping of foods it was, but that was breakfast. While out today I got very hungry and thirsty, so I ate a small fruit salad from a fast food restaurant, and later had a tasteless iceberg lettuce-based salad from another fast food place. Drank a lot of water, too! When I got home I had more fish, Ezekiel bread and vegetables. And then- horrors! I realized I hadn't had my molasses for my hair! So I quickly consumed three tablespoons of blackstrap molasses straight from the bottle (icky and yummy at the same time- can't explain). I really need to figure out how to eat that stuff. The hot water idea doesn't do it for me.

MENU PROJECT
I thought it would be interesting to put together a day's menu of food items that together would provide at least the minimum RDA of vitamins and other nutrients. I want to avoid taking vitamins if I can, and one would think that getting one's daily supply of nutrients from real food shouldn't be all that difficult. So far I've put together the following list of foods I would most enjoy eating, followed by the major nutrient I'm getting from them. (I do know that each of these foods offer more than the nutrient I am listing, of course).

Molasses, blackstrap, 3 tbsp (iron and other minerals)
Figs, dried, 3 (calcium, fiber, magnesium)
Banana 1 (potassium)
Nuts such as Walnuts and almonds (Vitamin E, healthy fats))
Avocado (healthy fats)
Seaweed, kelp, 4 tbsp (1/8 cup) (B12 and more)
Ezekiel Bread 4 slices (Fiber, B vitamins, protein)
Olive Oil, 1 tbsp (healthy fats)
Romaine Lettuce (salad) - (vitamins)
Red Ripe Tomatoes 1 (vitamins)
Mozzarella Cheese, part skim milk, 2 oz (protein, calcium)
Garlic, 1 clove (allicin- good for your immune system!)
Atlantic Salmon (fish), 3 oz (protein, healthy fats)
Dried Mangos, 2 oz (vitamin C and other vitamins)
Kombucha Mystic Mango (Synergy), (B vitamins, pro-biotics)

These are excellent sources of various nutritional elements, but it is incomplete. I really haven't figured out the appropriate proportions yet, although I already know I want less fat and more protein. I also need more minerals and some sources of Vitamin D. Sparkpeople recorded no vitamin D even though I had fish and cheese, which supposedly contains it. Must be trace amounts.

PROBLEM WITH MY NEW DIET?
I noticed today that the roughness in my facial complexion (cheek area) has reappeared. It's not nearly as bad as it once was, but I wonder if the fish and/or cheese is causing this. I just started with the molasses so I doubt if that is it, but heaven knows I've been wrong before. I'll have to keep an eye on this.

GOOD NEWS
Three things:

1. I made it to the 260s FINALLY!!! I got on the scale twice just to make sure. Now, who knows what the scale will say tomorrow, but I was happy as a clam this morning.
   
2. I am now down to a size 22w. I bought a much-needed pair of pants that size today.
   
3. I finally joined the gym. I have been beating around the bush with this issue, but finally I decided that I just need to spend the money and get fit. I signed up for the option of monthly body fat testing and a monthly visit with a trainer (both part of the special they were running for new members). I plan to use the treadmill and racquetball court the most, and as I lose weight, I'll add the elliptical trainer.

______________________________
P.S. Here is a website I am using as a resource for my menu project. You might want to check it out if you haven't discovered it already: The World's Healthiest Foods

Thursday, March, 23

(Photo: my yummy restaurant salad)

Today when my girlfriend picked me up from the university she said, "you look radiant! Your skin is glowing." I had no idea what she was talking about, because I certainly didn't feel "radiant." She kept on, so I put my hand to my face and I was shocked- the rough, dark patches I've had on either cheek for years have almost disappeared! I couldn't believe it. I felt my cheeks all the way home. :-) I really have to chalk this up to my raw food diet- I have done nothing different to my skin than I've done for the past 5 or more years. I am really happy about this positive change, especially since it was unexpected.

On the other hand, my hair has thinned considerably around the crown of my head. I don't want to blame the raw foods totally because I've worn locs for years and have had a terrible habit of basically ripping my hair apart when I was stressed and wanted to undo them. However, I never noticed any obvious thinning over the years I did this, so I am, unfortunately, inclined to believe my raw diet is to blame. So, what to do? I did a little internet investigation.
I can't be sure what exactly in (or missing from) my diet would be causing the hair loss, but some raw food sites suggest I try the following:

• Adding protein- brewer's yeast, almonds, and seeds: sesame, pumpkin, sunflower.
• Eating dulse or sea kelp, quinoa and spirulina.
• Drinking vegetable juice at least once a day.
• Taking vitamin A, B and E.
• Taking biotin and niacin.
• Eating greens

Since my protein intake has been low, I will work on this from that angle first, maybe trading some of my avocado for the seeds, and sprinkling brewer's yeast on my sandwiches and salads. Adding greens can't be bad, either. In the meantime, I've become good friends with hats!

BREAKFAST
Smoothie

LUNCH
Hummus sandwich

DINNER
Big restaurant salad (could only eat about 1/3 of it)

TOTAL POINTS: 28

January 1st, 2006: Time to Get Serious

I’m a professional loser of weight. I remember doing Pritikin, Atkins, TOPS and Weight Watchers when I was barely out of middle school. I was a miserable teenager who weighed almost 215 lbs by age 15. I hated myself! In 1998 I embarked on a serious weight loss plan involving Weight Watchers. I was single and could afford the expense, time and energy required to lose almost 200 lbs in three years. However, I could not get below 162 for months on end. Because my goal weight was 135 lbs I became fixated on the scale and on failure. I lost confidence, grew frustrated, and began to feel that old, familiar self hatred. I regained the weight in a remarkably short period of time. I went from a size 10 person who ran in the morning to a size 30 person who can’t walk from the car to the grocery store door without running out of breath.

Lately I’ve been thinking about the scary changes in my health I’ve been experiencing. When I read aloud I find I have to take deep breaths quite often. My blood pressure is high and my cholesterol is over 200. My back hurts when I have to stand for more than a few minutes, so doing dishes is painful. My shoulders hurt when I raise my arms, as if they are too heavy for their sockets. My right leg feels very weak- sometimes I fear it will collapse when I’m climbing stairs. I have headaches at least once a week now, and the huge amount of Pepsi I drink has lead to teeth problems. I have pain on the sides of my tongue every few weeks. I am anemic. I have chronically dry skin to the point where my legs looks like alligators! I could go on, but I’ll spare you for now.

The point is, I’ve been living on SAD- the Standard American Diet. It’s a diet of junk. Salt and sugar make up a large part of what I eat. Pepsi, some days, is the only thing I drink. Other days I drink very little of anything. I rarely eat vegetables and eat even less fruit. I have tried to substitute healthier foods for the unhealthy ones, like diet pop for Pepsi, but it doesn’t work. If it ain’t Pepsi, it simply will not do. Drinking the imposters eventually leads me to wanting the real thing again. I’ve come to learn that if I want to stay away from unhealthy foods, I have to also stop consuming their imitators. Fat-free stuff isn’t any better for me than the fat-filled counterparts.

As of today I weigh 341 lbs. I am 5′ 6″ tall. I am overweight because I consume more calories than I expend- simple as that. Why I consume too much food is no mystery. Food makes me feel temporarily happy. It distracts me from stress and it gives me a familiar pleasure when I’m feeling sad, lonely or anxious. I saw a therapist for a while who explained to me that food increases my serotonin levels and has therefore become an addiction. I can believe that - totally. But while it helps me greatly to understand my depression and how I use food to medicate myself, I find that I can analyze myself until the cows come home without getting better.

What I really need is to revamp my diet. I am taking a holistic approach of body, mind and spirit. Obviously I need more than just a physical change in body size to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I’m hoping that with healthy, whole, fresh foods in my system, I’ll rid myself of addictions to carbs, sugar, salt, etc. Perhaps ridding myself of those substances will result in a clearer mind and will result in a body that doesn’t crave food to combat depression. Maybe I won’t even experience depression any longer- who knows? I am starting the raw food transition now because I understand that one can go through some pretty yucky detox for a couple of weeks (or longer!). I start classes in late January so I hope to be through the worst of it by then. The first suffering I will experience will likely be caffeine withdrawal. Woe is me.


WHAT I STARTED WITH
These are the symptoms with which I’m starting the year

-Eyes water for a couple of hours each morning
-Stuffy nose/post-nasal drip
-Sneezing in the morning
-Sides of tongue hurt for days at a time
-Bad gums (probably gum disease)
-Stiff neck and back
-Blotchy complexion, some acne
-Low grade headache in morning, sometimes throughout day
-Severe lower back pain all the time
-Pain in knees
-Depression
-Low energy, low stamina
-Uneven sleeping patterns
-Often feel hot
-Very noisy digestive system
-chronically dry skin
-Resting heartrate = 80s and 90s
-341 pounds (about 200 lbs to lose)

EATING HABITS
-Few vegetables, almost no fruit
-High saturated fat and trans-fat
-LOTS of sugar and caffeine
-Hardly any water

FITNESS
-Fitness? What fitness? I can’t climb one short set of stairs without huffing and puffing. If I have to hurry down the street even a little, I’m breathing heavily for a ridiculous amount of time.

When I lost 200 lbs around the year 2000, I was walking 5 miles to work and back, playing racquetball, dancing, rollerblading, was going to the gym, biking, and taking a spinning class. My resting heart rate was in the high 30s and low 40s first thing in the morning. During the day my resting heartrate averaged in the low 60’s.