I Ran!

I had a fun day today, even though I started the day a little annoyed that I lost not a single pound this week. I forgot about that though when a raw vegan friend gave a potluck, which I attended. Not all of the foods were raw. I can have one “cheat day” a week so I enjoyed my first pastry in a long while (I cut it in half), a slice of raw pie, some guacamole, tortilla chips and salsa, and fruit salad. I was surprised that I didn’t do badly on the calorie side of things, although raw pies tend to be fattening and I have no idea what the nutritional content of the pie is. That slice could have been 300 calories, for all I know. I’m not going to worry about it since it was my cheat day.

Before the potluck I worked out in the complex I live in. After 15 minutes I was so bored I was going to give up, but thank goodness for my iPod! The music gave me a boost. And since I was the only one in there I thought hey, let me try running to make this more interesting. I “ran” at a VERY slow pace because the machine is old and the belt “slips” a little, but I did run. I did it in half-minute spurts, and walked at 2.8 to 3.0 mph in between. I stopped the workout when I hit two miles, but my cooldown took me to 45 minutes. A woman entered the workout room during one of my sprints and I instantly went back to walking because I felt very self conscious, but then I thought, who cares what I look like running on this thing? And I started running again. I was very proud of myself for that.

It’s late and I’m too lazy to copy and paste my menu but I did eat over 2000 calories due to my salmon salad dinner and the pie slice. My friend who told me about the 2100- calories-per-day recommendation for people who weigh 300 lbs sent me a food list that I really like. There are four columns. “Five” appears to be a special number on this plan: you take one food from each column five times a day. Every five days you get a cheat day. You eat five times a day, all within a 12 hour period. Other rules: You cannot eat after 7 pm, and you cannot eat more fruits than vegetables. The plan allows nuts but no cheese. Everything I ate today (except feta) was allowed on the plan because it allows tortillas. (Oops- it doesn’t allow pastries!) Canned foods aren’t included, but I have some soups to eat up before I get into this plan fully.

So, I’ve lost no additional weight, but I made up for that disappointment by proving to myself that I can run on the treadmill. I cannot complain!

A Very Good Week

I missed my Sushi Friday so I’m having LOTS of it tonight. Fourteen pieces of delicious nigiri sushi. I was very hungry so it wasn’t too much food today. In fact, I forgot to eat lunch and had to quick eat some yogurt before running out to the gym this afternoon. I had another great workout, but I really learned the detriments of not stretching. The front of both ankles felt so sore for the first 10 minutes that I thought I’d have to stick to 2.5 mph the whole time. Luckily the soreness went away and I was shocked when 45 minutes came to an end. I had to check the total miles (2.12) several times to be sure I hadn’t accidentally pushed the cooldown button. Since I was listening to a great song and still had energy, I decided to keep going. I did 55 minutes total, but slowed it way down for the last 6 minutes for a real cooldown.

A friend of mine who has her own personal trainer said she was told that if you weigh over 300 lbs you should eat 2100 calories (7 times 300 lbs) per day to lose weight. If you weigh under 300 just do 7 times whatever that weight is, she says. I don’t know… I’m just going to keep working out and eating between probably 1,200 and 1,700!


Breakfast
Mango (small)
Strawberries, fresh, 1 cup, halves
Banana
Cherry Juice, 4 oz
Protein Powder
Kiwi Fruit
Peach
Blackberries 0.5 cup
Egg Beaters 1 cup
Salsa, 0.25 cup
Feta Cheese, 1 oz
Meal Totals
lunch
Dannon Light & Fit Vanilla
dinner
Nigiri Salmon 4 pieces
Nigiri Tuna 4 pieces
Ikura maki, 6 pieces

Calories Fat Carbs Protein
1,826 21 249 89

To Work Out or Not Work Out?

I was able to get close to 2000 calories today because I had a leftover Jimmy John's lunch from yesterday's staff meeting- I just left out the chips this time. However, if I really want to be healthy, that's not the kind of stuff I should be eating twice a week, whether or not it fits into my calories/carbs/protein/fats scheme. It's a high-fat meal, and not the good fat kind. And it's not even vegetarian! Shame on me.

I weighed myself this morning and was very unhappy with the fact that I haven't lost a single pound STILL since last Sunday. Of course, it's not Sunday yet so I'm shouldn't get all excited. If I weigh on Sunday and still haven't lost a single pound, it could mean I'm not eating enough (seems unlikely), I'm eating too much (possibly), I'm retaining water (I don't think so)... Who knows? Guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Today is a rest day but I'm fighting the urge to work out. Eating so many calories is what tempts me to go to the gym- I have this urge to burn off the calories. The gym here is open 24 hours so it's easy for me to be spontaneous and run there. However, I don't want to overdo it and hurt myself, or become addicted to the gym.

breakfast
Mangos, 1 cup, sliced
Strawberries, 1 cup
Banana,
Cherry Juice, 4 oz
Protein Powder, 6 tbsp
lunch
Jimmy John's Subs - #1 Pepe,
Chocolate Chip Cookie, 1 serving
dinner
Spinach, fresh, 2 cup
Feta Cheese, 1 oz
Salsa, 0.5 cup
Italian Salad Dressing, 1 tbsp
Atlantic Salmon (fish), 6 oz
Calories Fat Carbohydrates Protein
1,866 75 209 104

Improvements at the Gym

Today I topped out at 3.1 mph on the treadmill. May seem dinky to those of you who have been working out for a while or are just more fit than I am, but I sure was proud! I was able to visualize myself running on the treadmill like I used to do a few years ago. I don't know how long it'll take for me to reach that point, but I'd like to wait until I get to 250 lbs just so I don't do harm to my knees. What made me especially happy about my workout was that I felt truly able to walk at 3.0 mph (3.1 was pushing it); I didn't feel like I was especially tired or out of breath. I can really see progress being made, although the scale has not budged.

I ate A LOT today. As of 7pm I've had over 1, 700 calories without having dinner yet. We had a staff meeting at my job, which normally involves ordering food. Today it was Jimmy John's sub lunch boxes. I had the #4 (turkey) but I ate the chips and the chocolate chip cookie that came in the box, too! I shouldn't have, but I get one "cheat day" a week which I rarely bother to use, plus I rarely eat the number of calories per day my trainer wants me to have per day (2,400) so I think I'll be ok. Besides, I had a great workout. Dinner will be a salad with salmon on it. I'm seeing that adding salmon to my meals has really helped me to raise my calorie count. Salmon has healthy fat in it.

BREAKFAST
Steel Cut Oats, dry, 0.25 cup
Dannon Light & Fit Vanilla, 6 oz
Banana

LUNCH
Jimmy Johns #4 Turkey sub
Campbell's beanw/ bacon
Potato Chips, 1 serving
Chocolate Chip Cookie

DINNER
Atlantic Salmon (fish), 3 oz
Spinach, fresh, 2 cup
Feta Cheese, 1 oz
Salsa, 0.5 cup
Avocado, 1/2
Italian Salad Dressing, 1 tbsp

Calories Fat Carbs Protein
2,196 93 239 92

A Yummy Day

I had another good workout today. I truly meant to make it a “light” day but I get competitive with myself. I want to either burn more calories or go a little further each session. Today I decided to go for the increased calories, so I raised the incline up to 2.5% on the slow songs. But when I peeked at the time on the treadmill and saw that 37 minutes had passed and I had only gone about 1.75 miles, I ramped up the speed a little so I could complete 2 miles in 45 minutes. I still didn’t go over 3 mph, though because I’m supposed to keep my heart rate between 117 and 144.

Since I’m notoriously bad at drinking water (I could seriously go for days without any) I always make sure I drink 16 oz before I return to my car after the workout- at least I get 2 cups in that way. I am trying to get into the habit of drinking some in the morning and evening as well.

After my workout I went to the grocery store to stock up on more fresh salmon. Since I’m not used to cooking for myself- I went from a raw diet to a ghastly fast-food/frozen food diet - I had fun looking up recipes. I used a baked salmon recipe from SparkPeople for a 12-oz piece of salmon with the skin (I always eat the skin!), and I sautéed 4 six-oz fillets using a tiny bit of olive oil in a non-stick pan. While I was baking and sautéing I was also steaming broccoli in a makeshift steamer made of a steel strainer and a stock pot. The house smelled so good! The reason I steamed the broccoli is that I don’t like raw broccoli- never have. But it’s a good vegetable to have on hand.

I made an unfortunate discovery: those three salmon fillets I had previously were really SIX ounces each, not three ounces!! See what happens when you don’t have a food scale, boys and girls? The good news, however, is that on those days I was about 150 calories closer to the 2,400 calories my trainer wants me to consume daily. (I have ensured that I will not have this problem again by buying a food scale).

So I had a great workout, a huge dinner with vegetables, drank a little more water than usual, and feel great! I will weigh myself tomorrow morning (if I remember).

breakfast:
Mangos, 1 cup, sliced
Banana
Cherry Juice, 4 oz
Blackberries, fresh, 0.5 cup
Whey Protein Powder
lunch:
Campbell's bean w/bacon soup
dinner:
Baked Salmon, 4 oz
Broccoli, steamed, 1 cup
Spinach, fresh, 2 cup
Feta Cheese, 1 oz
Salsa, 0.5 cup
Avocados, 1/2
Italian Salad Dressing, 1 tbsp
Brown Rice, long grain, 1 cup

CALORIES CARBS FAT PROTEIN
1,694 235 51 88

A Day of Rest

I had to take Alleve last night when I woke up around midnight, so I convinced myself to take today off from the gym. I get two days off, anyway. I made a real effort to get 2,400 calories in today, but I'll never do it this way again: I "frontloaded" at breakfast: smoothie and eggbeaters omelet at home, and then an Amy's burrito at work. I was sooooo full and it wasn't even 9 a.m. but I'd managed about 900 calories. I had lunch a little later than usual: Campbell's split pea soup (yes- too salty. Thank you for the tip!). Very filling and over 400 calories. I felt like an overstretched balloon after that. I had a late dinner of salmon, brown rice, a little salsa and half an avocado. Cherries brought me to over 2000. I won't be eating like that again, though. That was an experiment.

You know, overeating is fun only when the food is fattening and full of sugar.

TODAY'S MEALS
breakfast:
Amy's Bean & Rice Burrito
Egg Beaters 1 cup
Salsa, 0.5 cup
Feta Cheese, 0.5 oz
Mango, 1/2
Banana
Blackberries0.25 cup
Cherry Juice, 4 oz
Whey Protein Powder
lunch:
Split Pea soup with/Ham & Bacon
dinner:
Atlantic Salmon 3 oz
Brown Rice 1 cup
Salsa, 0.5 cup
Avocados- Haas 1/2
Cherries, 2 cups

CALORIES CARBS FAT PROTEIN
2,108 297 51 126

Swollen Feet

My sweet tooth is well taken care of with all of the fruit I'm eating and smoothies I drink. I even indulge in an occasional diet pop. But I find that I crave salt sometimes. I made salmon last night and maybe put too much salt on it because I noticed my feet were swollen today. Oops. My sandals were pretty tight this afternoon. I don't usually have concerns about swelling, so that was a little odd.

Today I signed up again on SparkPeople, the website that has you track your food, exercise, and other things. The Weight Watchers site doesn't allow you to track nutrients or even calories, so I figured if I'm gonna comply with my trainer's nutritional request (or at least try), I'd better find an easy way to analyze my meals. It is 5:30 pm as I type this and I have had:

breakfast:
Mangos, 1 cup, sliced	107	28	0	1
Strawberries, fresh, 1 cup, halves	46	11	1	1
Banana, fresh, 1 large	125	32	1	1
Cherry Juice, 4 oz	90	22	0	1
Whey Protein Powder	110	2	1	23
Sweet Cherries, 2 cups	147	37	0	2
lunch:
Campbell's Savory Lentil, 2 cup	260	48	1	16
Amy's Kitchen, Breakfast Burrito	230	38	6	9
dinner:
Atlantic Salmon (fish), 3 oz	155	0	7	22
Spinach, fresh, 1 cup	7	1	0	1
Salsa, 0.5 cup	36	8	0	2
Feta Cheese, 0.5 oz	37	1	3	2
Newman's Own Italian, 1 tbsp	60	1	7	1
snack:
Sweet Cherries, 1 cup, with pits	74	19	0	1
	CALORIES	CARBS	FAT	PROTEIN
	1,484	247	27	83

In case the above cut-and-paste doesn't come out on some browsers, the end result is 1,484 calories, 247 carbs, 27 grams of fat, and 83 grams of protein. I should state, in all honesty, I didn't do the visual portion control thing at all- I made a smoothie for breakfast and had two packaged foods for lunch. In retrospect, I trust that half a salmon fillet is the size of my palm and that the 1 1/2 cups of cherries I had were not too far off from the size of my fist.

So, it's not looking good for 2400 calories, and I am not hungry enough to eat another 900 + calories tonight. I'll be working out this evening and won't want to eat afterwards. According to WW I've consumed 33.5 points. I guess this would be the time to eat a protein bar, wouldn't it? But I don't want to, regardless of what my personal trainer recommends. I don't like those things. They are expensive and don't taste good and aren't real food, as far as I'm concerned. The fact that they resemble candy bars make them a trigger food for me, as well. Best to stay away.

Today she texted me to ask how I was and if I had any questions. I told her I couldn't figure out how to get 2400 calories in. She told me "you're an athlete! Cardio tonight!" Hmmm- that didn't help. I then told her I didn't think I could eat 2400 calories today. She said to "be honest and put it in my journal." Sigh... I need more guidance than that. I called a nutritionist today just to see what it would cost me. I could use the personal trainer just for the physical training and use the nutritionist for my nutritional concerns. The nutritionist charges $95 for a two-hour consultation, and an additional $100 to see her for a month. That's a lot. I hate it that preventative treatment costs so much! I'm trying to keep myself from getting diabetes, high blood pressure, a stroke, etc. but medical insurance kicks in after you've already been diagnosed. We need to be treating people who are in danger of getting those illnesses.

And on that note, I'm taking a nap!

(P.S. If any of you are on MySpace, feel free to visit and to give me your MySpace URL too. I'd be happy to visit your site as well. http://www.myspace.com/rawodyssey)

Ow

Today I met with my trainer for our nutrition counseling. Now I'm seriously having doubts about this! She wants to train me as if I were an athlete. She wants me to eat 2,400 calories a day. You read that right- 2,400 calories! I don't know how I'm going to do that without cheese, nuts and other high fat foods. She wants me to eat 6 times a day, too. A protein bar and two protein shakes a day make up part of the daily plan. I don't want to get so much protein from those types of "foods" but I figure I'll try what I can for the next week or two and then see how flexible she can be if I decide I really cannot do this. I already know I won't be doing the protein bars; maybe 1 shake a day, though (the powder in my smoothie).

The exercise is less of a problem. I'm in pain (neck, shoulders, back, and the front of each ankle) but I can deal with that. I always push myself when it comes to physical training, anyway. Today I did 3 mph on a 2% incline for part of the workout, and then varied the speed and incline throughout the rest of the time. 40 minutes came and went just like that! I completed 2 miles this time. I'm probably overdoing it; based on the soreness I wonder if I should be working out every other day rather than daily, but I'm willing to see if I can keep up this pace.

I bought the groceries on the list of foods she gave me- $96. I feel very far away from my raw plan at this point, but I know I have to work my way back to it. I have yogurt, cottage cheese, egg beaters, salmon, oatmeal, and a host of fruits. I also bought my soups and two Amy's burritos. I don't have enough vegetables, however. More shopping! I only ate about 22 points today but considering she wants me to eat 2400 calories a day, the points will go up this week as I strive to increase the calories.

That's it for today. I can't wait to lie down, I'm so achy and tired.

I Love Sushi

Today went pretty well. I didn't have a smoothie; instead I started the day with watermelon and my brown rice salad, along with the other half of yesterday's avocado. For a snack I had a little fruit salad of watermelon, honeydew, strawberries and cherries. Lunch was Campbell's lentil soup. I didn't do much today; in fact, the day was very relaxing and non-demanding. However, by 8 pm I was read to work out. I had different sneakers and they fit me well enough to not aggravate the large blisters I still have from my previous workouts. I did 40 minutes on the treadmill, completing 1.95 miles. My goal when I work out is to do a little bit better than I did the previous time. This could be through increasing the incline a little more, increasing the speed, working out a little longer, etc. Today my goal was to walk a little further, so I didn't stick to the 2.5 mph suggested by the trainer; I hovered around 3.0 mph. Having my new earphones really helped; I considered doing more than 40 minutes because the music was so good, but I still needed to have time to eat. I decided to have nigiri sushi again. So now it's after 11 pm. I didn't mean to eat so late but if I had skipped dinner, I would have had only about 1/2 the day's calorie requirement.

I had joined Weight Watchers earlier this year (and since quit, of course) but I kept my membership to their e-tools website. I've been using it to enter my foods these past couple of weeks. At my current weight I'm supposed to eat 37 points worth of food a day, but today I only had 18.5, and I used up 3 points (or 4, I can't figure it out) when I worked out. This means that I ended the day with about 15 points. NOT GOOD! I will have to make up for this deficit over the upcoming week. Besides the 37 points a day, I get an extra 35 points a week. I didn't use those points last week. I can see already that I am probably going to have the same problem I usually have when I eat healthfully; my appetite lowers so much that I don't get enough calories and could end up losing weight too quickly (yeah, boo hoo, right?) But losing weight too quickly is not healthy. I'll just have to take this one day at a time, I guess!

Mmmm You Gotta Try This

I made my brown rice dish tonight and boy is it delicious- I just had to share. I eat it cold and I think I might have another serving, this time with avocado on the side. Between the olive oil and the avocado, I'm gettin' those good fats in.

Brown Rice Salad

• Cook 1 cup dry brown rice according to the directions (and don't burn a batch like I did)
• Add 1 large bunch of parsley minced/finely chopped (I used curly parsley)
• Add 1 large clove of garlic, grated or minced
  
• Add 1 cup salsa (or just chop up enough tomatoes to make one cup, and add 2 or three chopped scallions)
• Squeeze in the juice of 1/2 lemon or lime
  
• Add 4 oz of crumbled feta
  
• Add salt to taste
• Add 1/8 cup of olive oil
  

Obviously you can add these ingredients in whatever proportions you want. Or add/subtract items- I'm all for creativity. Bon appetit!

I did not work out tonight but I did get the key to the workout room, which means I will have two locations to get my treadmill sessions in. I'm getting sneakers tomorrow. I did not meet with the trainer today because she was supposed to send me an email with information in it first, and also verify the specific time of our meeting but she never did. That's ok- I was sleepy as heck today anyway and wouldn't have been alert.

For my working lunch today we went to a sushi place. I had 7 pieces of nigiri sushi and 1 California roll. WAY too much food- I was stuffed! So yummy, though. I love my sushi Fridays.

Neither Lack of Cheese nor Blisters Will Stop Me!

I hope my personal trainer doesn't see this but I bought feta cheese yesterday. I decided I "can't live without it" right now. I like to make taboule and add feta to it. I also went against her advice and used the protein powder in my smoothie this morning. Why am I being defiant? Well, I eat probably between 1200 and 1700 calories a day including those items. When I cut out the cheese, nuts and protein powder it takes out over 500 calories. That, along with the exercise (I burned over 300 yesterday) will give me a huge calorie deficit. I recognize that I'm just being stubborn about eating the foods I like. I did make one concession though- I bought the brown rice she recommended. I am going to prepare it as if it were taboule and add feta to it!

Yesterday's workout was not especially fun. At the gym I discovered that the little rubber earbud thingies were missing from my earphones- that was enough to make me consider cancelling my workout right then- no music, no workout! But I decided to use the earphones anyway. The sound quality was horrid and make my workout much less pleasant. Plus, my sneakers, which a friend gave me, really are too narrow and were severely hurting my toes. Not wanting to be a wuss or use any more excuses to not work out, I pressed on. After the workout I sat in the nearest chair and took my shoes off. Blisters on both little toes! Today, the blister on one toe is almost as big as the toe itself! I have new earphones, but I won't work out at all today unless I can get some sports sandals that will leave my toes in the open.

So far I'm feeling good about the food. Since I'm considering my diet to be "high raw," eating out is not anxiety-provoking. I just get the salad that looks the tastiest and closest to raw, and make minor adjustments. Last week I ate at a restaurant with a coworker and had the candied walnuts removed from my salad and replaced with sliced avocado. Today I'm having another working lunch and am not anticipating major problems. Later, I have a meeting with my PT to discuss nutrition and I think it's important to tell her honestly what I'm willing and not willing to do. I want to keep the cheese, period. I can live without the nuts. And I think I would prefer to count WW points or some kind of food values rather than doing the visual portion control thing (that doesn't work with food addicts anyway- some days my fist will be a lot bigger than other days!!)

Things are going well so far.

June, 2007

STARTING OVER. AGAIN.
I'm sitting here in my lovely apartment after a 40 minute treadmill workout feeling pretty good: proud, capable and confident! It's been a loooong time since I've done anything decent with my health, and I have been paying the price with all the predictable effects - the weight gain, bad complexion, poor fitness level, lowered energy, not-very-happy-mood, low self esteem, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. But last week I was ready to get back on the wagon, so up I hopped. I have lost about 8 lbs (the first week is always mostly water), and today I started working out.

PROGRAM AND GOALS

Fitness
To get me back into the gym, I found a personal trainer. Today was my first meeting with her. She recorded my BMI, measurements and starting weight. I have to get a doctor's release before we truly begin to work out, but she wants me to do 40 minutes on the treadmill at only 2.5 mph, 0 incline, 5 days a week. As my cardiovascular fitness improves we'll increase the speed and incline level. Eventually we'll add weights and do a 30-minute circuit training type of workout (ugh). I can only afford her once a week right now, but that's all right.

Weight
My initial weight goal is to lose about 30 lbs in three months. My overall goal is to reach 160 lbs by the time I earn my doctorate in 2009.


FOOD
Although my goal is to eat a "high raw" (not all raw) diet, I am starting out cautiously. Last time I started raw I jumped in with both feet and lost 25 lbs in one month, and about 1/4 of my hair. I want to lose weight quickly, but not with that kind of side effect! I'm still growing my hair back and it looks better, one year later. I stopped wearing a wig last month- scary move, but a happy occasion.

My previous raw diet was very low in protein so this time around I plan to ensure that I get enough of it. Since I love nigiri sushi, I will be getting some of my protein raw. These past two weeks I've been having a fruit smoothie with protein powder every morning, low-fat vegetable or vegetable/bean soups for lunch, and then salads with some sort of cheese for dinner. For a snack I eat raw cashews and almonds. My trainer wants me to stop eating cheese and nuts, and to not do protein supplements. She recommends I eat oatmeal, egg whites and brown rice, all of which I am willing to do for a little while as I establish myself in this new health routine. She knows I am avoiding all red meats and fowl but I didn't go into the whole future raw thing with her- I'll do that later!

Now, I'm not sure if I like what my trainer is having me do for food: she uses the volume method for determining portion sizes rather than counting calories or food values. I mean, how do you determine an index finger's worth of olive oil? She admits that this is "ambiguous" but wants me to try it out before I completely reject it. We'll see how it goes but I am already not overjoyed with the foods or the portion-control method.

HOW TODAY WENT

I am SO out of shape it is pitiful. She did a stress test on me and wanted me to stop when my heart rate went back down to 119, but it never went below 130! My resting pulse was 80. She set me up to do 40 minutes on the treadmill at 2.5 mph. When she left, I experimented with raising the incline to .5 and then 1, and raising the speed to 2.7 - just little changes to see how my heart rate was affected. She wants me to stay between 117 and 144 beats per minute and I did that, but overall I only achieved 1.75 miles in 41 minutes. I'm very impatient and want to go faster than that, but I know I have to start slowly. The good thing is that I can only get better, and it'll be fun seeing the improvement. My arms and my neck are a little sore, and I'm sure my legs will be sore tomorrow, but my iPod will help to distract me from pain when I work out tomorrow.

Well that's it for today. I'm about to see what I can eat for dinner! A fist-sized portion of something...

GOIN' RAW!

I spent the night contemplating this WW thing and decided to morph over to a high raw diet now rather than doing it more slowly. I remember how eating raw last year helped me to feel less depressed, cleared up my skin, and helped me deal with the desire to overeat so I figured, why wait any longer? I shopped for fruits, herbs and veggies for salads, and got low fat cottage cheese and organic nut butter for extra protein. I have extra virgin olive oil and avocados to make sure I get my good fats in. I bought fresh squeezed OJ rather than a bunch of oranges because I know I'm not going to spend time in the morning squeezing orange juice. I will start with these, and eat up the remaining 3 or so frozen meals I have in the fridge. I feel better already!

Now, tonight I'm going to be eating a very non-raw dinner with a friend. She is grilling steaks and roasting potatoes, and we'll have bread and dessert. All of that would be allowed on the WW Flex plan but I have to count points and would have to eat small portions to keep the point value low. I'm going to still count points with my high-raw plan as well. Right now I'm allowed 36 points a day, and 35 extra points over the course of a week. It should be very interesting to see how many points I manage to take in on a high raw diet. I'm guessing it'll very hard to make 36 points and that I'll settle into whatever points work for me.

I gained two pounds over the past week. I realize that many things cause weight to fluctuate, but I did eat waaaaay too much over the weekend. A new friend and I went hiking and then ate dinner at a restaurant that evening. I did not try to make up for the overeating, but by week's end I found that I had "undereaten" about 38 points total. This was mainly because I did not feel like snacking (except for one day where I ate pretzels) and because I ate low-point frozen meals and salads. I may have gained because I undercalculated my weekend points- who knows? The good thing is that even though I gained two pounds I still tracked my foods, ate what I should have over the rest of the week, and drank a lot more water than I usually do. I even remembered to take vitamins every day. I'm also proud of my hiking day. I got a lot of exercise completing my home organization, too: I had to put shelving together and do some heavy lifting over a three-day period. Doesn't count as cardio or anything, but I did get some musclework in.

Although I like WW for it's simplicity and dedication to health rather than to fast weight loss, it discourages me that I feel I'm "on a diet." That feeling occurs when I'm following the program properly but still feel hungry. At that point, I want to eat more but I tell myself I can't because of the point value of the foods. There are a few times when I feel so hungry on WW that I eat an extra meal. I don't go over my points because they give you an extra 35 for the entire week, which can be split into 5 a day (this week I couldn't do that because I'd eaten my extra 35 in one day!) I think that it's the types of foods I eat that lead me to feel hunger between meals. Perhaps it's the carbs or something in the processed frozen foods. Also, you don't get much buik in a "lite" frozen meal, so I don't always feel satisfied. It'll take me a while to adjust to these portion sizes if I keep eating frozen meals.

When I ate raw, I eventually stopped being so strict about counting calories and fat, or doing portion control. I ate when I was hungry, stopped when I was full, and still lost weight -and felt good! So although WW is great for losing weight and is very healthy, I'm still eating foods that scream "DIET" to me, and which don't fully satisfy me.

To deal with the hunger and lack of "satisfaction" I will try to take more fruit to work with me, and maybe make bigger salads. Over time I should phase out the frozen foods in favor of whole foods that I prepare myself, but that will depend on how much time I want to spend in the kitchen. That Vitamix is looking better all the time! I can quickly chop up a bunch of veggies and herbs and stick 'em in the fridge. I figure the money I spend on the Vitamix will be made up by not spending that money on the salad bar at Whole Foods!

I still have my days where I feel lonely and depressed, but I'm not eating my way through them. Unfortunately, I am not at all motivated to go to the gym and have yet to go this year. I have all the equipment I need so I have no excuse to avoid it except my mental state. I could probably use the endorphins to get me through the rough times, so I really need to start going.

Note to JennP who left a comment this week- it's nice to know others are trying (or thinking of trying) the same thing I happen to be doing. I do believe that I can adapt WW to a raw diet as I head in that direction. And maybe I'll get there sooner than later, since I'm not at all happy with the foods I'm eating now!

A Good Second Week!

Today was weigh-in day; I lost 1.25 lbs. Not much, but much better than gaining. I used to celebrate on weigh-in day by eating whatever I wanted, and then spend the rest of the week in a panic, making up for overeating. This time I around I've decided I'll have treats, but they'll usually be things that are perhaps high calories but not totally unhealthy. Today's treats were whole-milk yogurt (instead of low fat) and an Amy's burrito that has 14 grams of fat in it (that's 7 points out of a 36 point day- not bad, but a lot for a smallish burrito).

I stopped at Whole Foods for my weekly stash of salad fixin's. They have a corn "salsa" once in a while that has feta cheese in it that I really like. I can make that on my own but today I bought it, along with tabouli, marinated artichoke hearts, and a couple of other mixtures. Almost everything I get from them is marinated in olive or canola oil, herbs, wine and/or vinegar, so I find no need to add salad dressing. I also bought tomatoes, hummus, Ezekiel pita bread, 7 Amy's burritos (I have one every morning for breakfast), low-fat cottage cheese, mini mozzarella balls and roasted tomatoes (to make caprese salad) and feta. I bought fresh mangoes, strawberries and a container of pre-cut fresh fruit. I can see that dairy products are going to be the hardest for me to give up as I go more towards a whole foods/vegan/raw type diet.

So far I feel good about my trip back to health. Getting my health on track is great for my self esteem and is leading me to take charge of other areas of my life that need improvement. For example, my clothes are mostly either too big or too small, old, or not appropriate for the weather. Usually I tell myself that I shouldn't spend money on clothes, but what I'm really doing is avoiding dealing with being large and having to find flattering clothes that fit properly. Since I'm realizing that wearing styles that I like has a positive effect on my my self esteem, I have to do myself a favor and spend time in clothing stores no matter how much I hate the process. Another thing is my hair. As I've mentioned in the past, since losing hair last year I've covered it up with wigs, hats and scarves. I'm now looking for someone to style it for me so that I can stop wearing the wigs and hats.

Have a great week, everybody, and big thanks to those who have left me some kind and supportive comments. They really help!

A New Year, a New Me

I have decided to get back to blogging after several months off. As some of you know I was having difficulties staying raw due to personal difficulties (stressful relationship, stressful academic requirements, abject poverty- you know, the usual). Since jumping off the raw wagon I regained almost all of the weight I'd lost, along with the health problems - the bad skin, the "allergies," the severe back pain, etc. The hair loss I experienced from losing 25 lbs in one month (January 2006) has not totally been rectified so I'm still wearing a wig to deal with that.

This year I am in a new set of circumstances and felt that it was time for me to start getting back to health. For one thing, I am now single and living on my own. Although it's lonely, it's not like I've never been in this position before- it just takes time to get used to. I've also found a great job as a sociologist, working with a wonderful group of people. I love going to work everyday, even when I feel overwhelmed with full-time work and full-time school. So stressors still exist in my life- they'll never go away- but they are different and are not causing me to turn to food.

Rather than jumping full on into raw, I have gone to my old standby: Weight Watchers. I weighed in at 325 lbs, and I did not cry. I am using their "Flex" plan, which gives a point-value to foods based on their fiber, calorie and fat count. This means I can eat anything I want, as long as I don't go over a certain number of points (37 for me at first, due to my weight, gender, and sedentariness). I chose the Flex because I didn't want to feel that I was suddenly switching to a "diet;" I wanted to first get used to tracking what I eat.

I drank 20 oz of Pepsi, ate full-fat frozen meals, had nuts and lots of brie that first week and lost 9.6 lbs anyway. At the WW meeting when they give everyone the opportunity to celebrate their losses, I almost didn't say anything because I really don't care about the pounds as much as I care about getting the junk out of my system and getting the good stuff in. My celebration is about weaning myself off of fat, sugar and salt. And after week one, I've begun to do that.

I know I said I am lonely and alone, but I actually have a roommate. She's barely around because we have different schedules, but she's a health nut, which is great for me. She went to Whole Foods and brought a lot of good salad stuff, so I did the same this weekend and now the fridge is stocked with great salad ingredients. I might be returning to raw sooner than I'd planned! I even went to the raw restaurant for the first time in ages and got the raw pizza, and couldn't eat all of it. (In one sitting, of course, I can eat a ton of food that's bad for me. Hello, irony). My week's menu consists of low- or no-fat cottage cheese, smoked salmon, fresh fruits and vegetables, skim milk, Kombucha teas (the Synergy brand), low-fat/high fiber frozen meals, caprese salad (because I love cheese), whole wheat bread, diet Snapple, and nigiri sushi. Over time I'll eat fewer prepared foods, more whole foods, and more raw foods. But I believe I'm one of those people who needs a higher percentage of protein, therefore I will probably never give up the cottage cheese or the fish. I'll simply eat less of them because I'll be getting plant proteins as well.

Thank you to everyone who has been supportive during my absence. I was happy to receive encouraging words, support and understanding. I didn't think my blog still existed since it's been neglected for so long, but here it is, patiently waiting.

I'll update the blog probably on a weekly basis rather than daily, as I am busy with my new awesome job, and my full time academic load. Since I weigh in once a week, that day will be a good day to also update the blog.

Happy (belated) New Year! :-)

A Wild and Wacky Summer- and now the Holidays are Coming!

I would like to get back to raw before January of 2007, but my heart just hasn't been in it. Personal problems took up a lot of my energy starting this summer: I am a single woman now, which really took an emotional toll on me. Then, as a related problem, I had to move. That involved a lot of physical labor and emotional stress that took time away from my studies and made the whole break-up thing more upsetting. Remember that I joined the Raw Food Bootcamp? Well, need I say that I wasn't attentive to the Bootcamp regulations through all of this?

As part of my move I lost internet access at home, which interfered with my ability to stick to the Bootcamp regimen of checking in, logging foods, maintaining a blog, etc. It also interfered with my studies, a problem I especially do not need. Between trying to find reliable sources of free wi-fi, studying, moving and being generally depressed, it seemed that I had really picked the wrong time for the Bootcamp. I tried to stick to the regimen, thinking that if I could at least stay raw one of my biggest problems would be under control, but it was really too difficult for me to handle.

When I finally got moved, I thought I could then put more attention on the Bootcamp, but then my computer powercord broke! More internet woes, then- and not having a computer is even worse than not having internet because my research data is all digital. AARGH! That did me in as far as the Bootcamp. The truth is, other areas in my life have had more importance in my life than staying raw these past couple of months: my studies and my personal life. If I have to choose between the bootcamp and my studies, for example, the studies have to win. And I've found that it is too hard not to stray from raw when I'm so emotionally stressed.

So I am no longer a member of the Bootcamp. Speaking for me- not for anyone else- a Bootcamp experience works best when it's not competing with outside forces. I thought the Bootcamp would force me to focus on raw over those other forces, but no- I couldn't make it work no matter how important I thought it was. Carlene was very understanding that this was not the right time in my life for Bootcamp (although I didn't bring even bring up the break-up issues!). She didn't call me a whiny loser or anthing dreaded like that. :-) There is a time and a place for everything and if Bootcamp is in my future, it'll be when I am fully able to commit to it.

So what do I do now? I am definitely not eating raw these days, but I am starting from square one to get myself back on track. First, simply watching what I eat is important. I may progress from there to recording what I eat- maybe calories or Weight Watcher's points. I've bought some frozen meals because those are the easiest foods for someone going to grad school and working at two different job sites! After I'm in the habit of watching what I eat I can transition to an all-vegetarian diet, and then transition back to raw- maybe by my January 1st raw anniversary! Once the semester is over at the university I will also have some free time- a good time to start a gym regimen. So I know what options are out there. It's a matter of putting them into play. That's always the hard part.

A Note for U.S.A. Voters

A friend passed this information on to me and I thought I'd post it, a bit late but still early enough to be helpful. This website lists the requirements for voters in each of the states. Many polling places have volunteers who are not fully aware of state laws and are mistakenly turning people away from polls for insufficient I.D. If you are able to print this information and take it with you to the polling site, you might fare better in case there are problems.

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE!

http://electionline.org/Default.aspx?tabid=364

November 3, 2006

Getting back on raw is definitely a day-by-day thing for me- I rededicate myself each morning. I hope that soon it'll be the unconscious habit it once was. I had cantaloupe for breakfast and a "salad" for lunch. Since I didn't get to the store last night I had no herbs OR lettuce, so I just ate a bunch of vegetables with a base of taboule, basically. It was yummy, though. Who says a salad has to have lettuce, anyway? I made a conscious effort to keep water at my desk to help get myself back in the habit of drinking water every day. If I weren't doing the Raw Food Bootcamp I'd probably be trying to do "high" or "medium" raw, eating one nonraw meal and the rest raw to ease back into this, but my history with changing eating patterns shows that cold turkey tends to do the trick for me. Regardless, no single way is "easy"!

Right now I'm conducting research regarding the use of sacred spaces. As I perused the web for information on places of worship I came across a site that described the pastor as having healed the sick. The site featured several stories of healing; one woman had her depression lifted from her within a week. I looked at the other healings to see if any of them had food addictions (ha!) but no such luck. I think you have to be a "believer" to be healed in this way, and I'm really not a believer in spontaneous healings. What I do believe is that I'll always have this food addiction lying somewhere underneath, no matter how much I pray for it to be taken away. Although it makes me sad to think this way, I simply accept it. So I continue on this Raw Odyssey because it's the closest to "healing" that I've ever found.

November, Finally!

The beginning of the month is a good time to start over

Good morning! I've had my honeydew melon and kombucha tea and am raring to go. What a busy, hectic month October was for me. Between time-consuming academic projects and my move, staying raw and getting in gymn workouts fell to the wayside- I mean, there are only so many major issues my brain can deal with at one time. Not having internet access turned out to be a major problem, since you have to log onto the Bootcamp site daily to update everyone and to see how everyone else is doing. Once I had to rely on internet cafes it was amazing how unreliable they actually are. My favorite place lost wireless access for long periods of time, another place had a ridiculously slow connection that made online work useless, and another spot was so cold I couldn't stay there long enough to get anything done! The folks at the Raw Food Bootcamp have been patient, but November is my time to get on track or else I'm really wasting my and everyone else's time there.

I finally broke down and bought some new clothes this week. I don't know about you, but I tend to delay buying clothes when I outgrow my current ones because 1) I hate to acknowlegde the weight gain and 2) I keep telling myself that I'm going to lose weight soon, so why waste the money? Unfortunately, I usually end up not losing weight "soon" and therefore wind up wearing ill-fitting clothes that make me feel fat and which also keep reminding me that I'm gaining weight. Just looking in the closet sets a negative tone for my whole day- EVERY day! So even though I really am back on the raw wagon, I bought several affordable (read: cheap!) items to get me through the next few weeks.

FOOD & FITNESS
Last night I made a salad at a saladbar for today's lunch- it's always a treat to go to a salad bar because they've done all the chopping and slicing for you, but it's hell on your wallet! Tonight, though, I'll be getting parsley and cilantro to make my herb-based salads- time to get used to chopping and slicing again. I will also be buying new gym shoes because I lost mine in the move (they didn't fit well anyway). Nothing like new shoes to get you back in the workout groove! Plus, since my new location is much more walkable than my old area, I'll be putting those shoes to good use going for walks. The best thing about moving is that I have a lot of new places to explore. Since I can't stand walking purely for exercise, having another purpose for walking makes it much more enjoyable.

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Here's to a good week!!
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PS: Some of you may notice that the link to the Raw Odyssey Cafe is gone. I have found that my life is too busy to properly promote and maintain the cafe, so it never really got off the ground. However, I am truly grateful to those of you who did visit and post to it . I look forward to your continued visits to this, the main Raw Odyssey site. Don't be afraid to leave comments here about your own experiences eating raw or contemplating a raw diet. Sharing experiences is what makes blogs great!