Living Life

Today I'm trying to focus on staying more positive. To do this, I need to lessen the amount of attention I put on food, because I’m finding myself going back to where I was last year- ruled by food! When I was eating raw, I could go for hours and forget there was such a thing as food. I wasn't hungry, wasn't craving, wasn't feeling guilty or deprived- I was attending to the other parts of my life, and food occupied a proper amount of space in it. Now, food has taken over again. So I’m going to make a concerted effort to do some enjoyable, non-food things (except I do have to go grocery shopping today- can’t totally avoid food!)

One thing I really love is music- it’s a great escape and is very relaxing, even the type of music I listen to (metal, hard rock). When I can’t get into my music, I know I’m really going through a “down time,” but last night I was able to relax for the first time in a while. I think reading the welikeitraw.com site was a factor in helping me to gain some perspective and stop berating myself as much for falling off the wagon. I listened to some great stuff for HOURS- like from 10pm to 3 a.m! I think I listened to some songs about 20 times apiece: Dani California (by the Red Hot Chili Peppers), Master of Puppets, Some Kind of Monster and St. Anger (Metallica). I threw in a few other types of songs, but most were of the rock/metal variety. This type of music gives me energy, although I don’t always use it to push myself out the door the way I should.

Sometime overnight I found out about the death of Steve Irwin, the “Crocodile Hunter.” I was very saddened about this- especially by the idea of his suffering before he died, and by thoughts of the family, friends and fans he’s left behind. But I also have to say that he died doing what he loved. His lived his life according to his principles and his mission: to teach people to respect wildlife rather than to shun or kill living creatures out of fear and ignorance. He wasn’t perfect; he made mistakes in judgment and he’s gotten injured in the past, but he believed in what he was doing. If you see interviews he’s given, he was a driven and happy human being.

That is a lesson for people like me who tend to hide behind books rather than getting out there and living life. Irwin lived his dream, while I’ve spent way too much time preparing to live mine - gotta get healthy before I ride a motorcycle! Gotta lose weight before I take those percussion lessons or ride a bike across the country! Gotta finish school before… Well, at this rate, I won’t have done any of the crazy things I’ve always wanted to do! People may think Irwin was crazy, but there is much to admire about the fact that he wasn’t afraid to live his dream. I could stand to take a page from his book.

(Speaking of books, here are a couple below)