November, Finally!

The beginning of the month is a good time to start over

Good morning! I've had my honeydew melon and kombucha tea and am raring to go. What a busy, hectic month October was for me. Between time-consuming academic projects and my move, staying raw and getting in gymn workouts fell to the wayside- I mean, there are only so many major issues my brain can deal with at one time. Not having internet access turned out to be a major problem, since you have to log onto the Bootcamp site daily to update everyone and to see how everyone else is doing. Once I had to rely on internet cafes it was amazing how unreliable they actually are. My favorite place lost wireless access for long periods of time, another place had a ridiculously slow connection that made online work useless, and another spot was so cold I couldn't stay there long enough to get anything done! The folks at the Raw Food Bootcamp have been patient, but November is my time to get on track or else I'm really wasting my and everyone else's time there.

I finally broke down and bought some new clothes this week. I don't know about you, but I tend to delay buying clothes when I outgrow my current ones because 1) I hate to acknowlegde the weight gain and 2) I keep telling myself that I'm going to lose weight soon, so why waste the money? Unfortunately, I usually end up not losing weight "soon" and therefore wind up wearing ill-fitting clothes that make me feel fat and which also keep reminding me that I'm gaining weight. Just looking in the closet sets a negative tone for my whole day- EVERY day! So even though I really am back on the raw wagon, I bought several affordable (read: cheap!) items to get me through the next few weeks.

FOOD & FITNESS
Last night I made a salad at a saladbar for today's lunch- it's always a treat to go to a salad bar because they've done all the chopping and slicing for you, but it's hell on your wallet! Tonight, though, I'll be getting parsley and cilantro to make my herb-based salads- time to get used to chopping and slicing again. I will also be buying new gym shoes because I lost mine in the move (they didn't fit well anyway). Nothing like new shoes to get you back in the workout groove! Plus, since my new location is much more walkable than my old area, I'll be putting those shoes to good use going for walks. The best thing about moving is that I have a lot of new places to explore. Since I can't stand walking purely for exercise, having another purpose for walking makes it much more enjoyable.

_____________________

Here's to a good week!!
_____________________

PS: Some of you may notice that the link to the Raw Odyssey Cafe is gone. I have found that my life is too busy to properly promote and maintain the cafe, so it never really got off the ground. However, I am truly grateful to those of you who did visit and post to it . I look forward to your continued visits to this, the main Raw Odyssey site. Don't be afraid to leave comments here about your own experiences eating raw or contemplating a raw diet. Sharing experiences is what makes blogs great!

Tough Week

I think I picked the wrong time to start bootcamp! My mind has not been on it the way it should be, what with classes and moving. My daily exercise usually involves some combination of moving, packing and cleaning, not the concentrated time at the gym or outside that I would prefer. I haven't been able to get online daily due to no longer having internet. But in 11 days I'll be in my new place and will be able to settle down. Due to selling some furniture I finally had money for real food shopping. I went to Whole Foods and got great salad fixin's from the salad bar. I'm just about back in business! Too bad the house is a shambles right now. :-)

The people at the Raw Food Boot Camp are very nice and supportive. I feel bad that I'm not up to standard at the moment, but having the bootcamp behind me is helping me keep my ultimate goals in mind despite my many current challenges.

I got a nice message from "Jennifer" who was very concerned about my gaining 35 lbs eating raw. Let me clarify- I went off my raw diet for a while! I didn't gain weight eating raw, although I did stay stuck at the same weight for weeks before I slipped off the wagon. Looking back, I know the high fat content of my raw diet was part of the problem, but I was enjoying the nuts, olive oil and avocados too much to give 'em up. After I'm finished losing weight, I will probably eat a diet much higher in fat than the Raw Food Bootcamp recommends, but for weight loss I think their 20% fat limit is better for me.

I'm Never Eating Again!

(Photo: teas for my upcoming fast)

What a terrible day I had today. I've been off my raw diet for almost 2 weeks and I feel it has caught up to me. On one day this week the skin on my left cheek hurt really badly- my cheeks had been more darkly pigmented than the rest of my face but had cleared up once I started eating raw. Now the skin is getting a bit rough again and my cheek hurt so badly I could barely touch it! Another thing: I've been congested for days- stuffed and runny nose. I feel (gross-out alert): "mucous-y" as well as "heavy" and slow- like a weight is constraining me. Another thing (prudish people alert): my breasts hurt VERY badly for several days this week. I think it was from all the sodium. I'm just falling apart, people!! At work today I felt all out of kilter, as if I had too many things to do and not enough time to do it. I just needed solitude so I could think. And tonight as I was washing dishes I knocked over a glass and cut my finger rather deeply. I refuse to get stitches, so here I type with one bandaged index finger looking as nasty as I feel.

But waiting for me is the menagerie of teas you see in the photo above. I am so ready for a fast. I need to clean out my body and my mind because I feel like a trash can. I know I can easily fast with water alone for a couple of days, but I decided to make the experience more interesting and flavorful by trying out a bunch of teas I've never had. I made sure they had no fructose, "organic cane juice" (who do they think they're kidding with that one?) or other sugars- except for the Kombucha teas, whose 4 gms of sugars per bottle come from the fruit. I limited myself to 3 kombuchas for this fast.

I didn't pick the teas with any expectation that they will do what they claim; the detox and fasting teas claim to help you in those two areas but if they aren't any more special than any other teas I won't have a fit. I just liked the idea of using a tea called "fasting" and a tea called "detox" while I fast and envision myself detoxifying. I will have molasses daily during my fast, and since I have 5 mangoes, I will have a mango a day until they run out so as not to waste them. I bought a 24-pack of bottled water from Costco as well. How long will I fast? As long as I can stand it. I want to go further than the two days I did before because I remember that on day three I felt better than day two, and if I can make it past day 3, I might make it a week! I will monitor myself to ensure I don't dehydrate or feel weak, etc. (yes, nurse Pam, I said that for YOU!). :-)

I have magazines -Shambala Sun, Tricycle and Yoga - to help me get into a nice, calm mode for the weekend. I also have a lot of studying to do, which should keep my mind occupied as I fast.

So there you have it- I'm undergoing a holistic deep-cleaning this weekend.

I want to say thank you to all of you who have sent me well wishes, urged me to not think poorly of myself, reminded me of how far I've come, sent virtual hugs, shared their experiences with falling off the wagon, and told me to not say bad things about my hair. ;-D

Raw Odyssey

Headed Back to the Raw Path

It's sad to see my food addiction rear its ugly head, but I'm grateful for my ability to really see what food (or non-food, as the case may truly be) does to me, and how much better for me raw food really is. I think that I will try to keep things more loose as far as "how raw" I am, allowing myself to eat cooked veggies and other whole foods on occasion. Ausjulie commented about Buddha, which reminds me of his comments about maintaining a Middle Path- neither too extreme one way, nor too extreme in the other. Although I still can't figure out how people know they are a particular percentage raw, I can see what they are talking about- they allow themselves some leeway. I'm not ready to name some percentage, but I'm going to start thinking of myself as being majority raw, and over time I'll probably define it a bit more clearly.

One of my challenges since falling off the raw wagon is staying away from That Person that many jobs have- you know, the one with the junk food at her desk! We've got one of those at my new job. Her desk is like Costco's junk food warehouse. She's got chips, cookies, candy and granola bars. Then there's a vending machine selling Coke in the staff kitchen. Why can't they have fresh fruit and vegetables everywhere? :-)

Anyway, I plan to fast this weekend, possibly starting Friday, which is my day off from both classes and work. I plan to stock up on tasty healthy teas and bottled water, and a little fruit juice. Then I'll get back on the raw wagon. Yippee!!! And I'm rockin' my new wig, people!!

Who Deputized You as the Raw Police?

I haven't blogged in a few days due to feeling awful about going off my raw diet, and also due to all the negative things I've been going through this past week. I won't be going into details, but as far as not eating raw, I ate this week the way most Americans do- all the wrong stuff. Still, I don't feel like I'm leaving the raw life, just that I took a break. Eating raw takes a little work, as I've said in previous posts, so when I got stressed out and wanted to make parts of my life easier, out went the effort to stay raw. The funny thing about it (ok, not that funny) was that on two occasions that I did not eat raw, I was with other university people. At a banquet, one of them looked at my plate with a major frown and I had no idea what she was frowning about. She said, "That's not raw!!" She says this loudly enough for people who don't even know me to hear. Oh, good Lord! I can't remember exactly what I told her, but it was something to the effect that sometimes I just do the best I can. And then I got myself some linguini.

Another day, there was free food left over from a catered event I was part of. I hadn't eaten the food because it wasn't raw, but I was hungry and I hadn't gotten my paycheck yet so groceries in the house were almost nil (I was eating cottage cheese, bread and fruit all week). When a coworker mentioned to everyone that there was free food in the lounge for us, she pointedly said to me, "there's nothing for you." Oh, yeah? Who sent for the Raw Police??? Well, I immediately went and got myself a turkey sandwich with mayonnaise.

This is why I hate talking about my personal life to people I have to be around every day. People think you are made of cement and will never change, and they are careful to remind you of what you said months ago or a year ago. Well, I'm human and I'm not perfect, and I don't owe them any explanations for going off my raw diet. On the other hand, sometimes people do care and hate to see you go backwards- that I can understand, but don't go policing me! I have enough problems already without a guilty conscience.

I tackled another raw-related issue this weekend: my thinning hair. I really don't think it's growing back, but it still doesn't seem to be breaking off the way it was. Since I start my new and very important job tomorrow- a job that can usher me into the next stage of my life- I want to feel comfortable and confident. This is not a place to wear hats, but I hate wigs because I feel so inauthentic, and I hate doing makeup and wig stuff- it's just not me. So to feel like I have at least some integrity again, I acknowledged that I can't afford an expensive haircut and my hair doesn't look good natural, and I got out the curling iron. After a long struggle, I came up with a hairstyle that covers up the thinning parts decently enough to make them barely noticeable. My hair still grows, so the length helped to disguise it. Truthfully, my hair probably looks worse to me than it would to the casual observer because I know what I've lost, while 99.99% of the world has no before-and-after to compare me to. I probably look fine; I just don't have any more confidence. Today I debut my new look at a meeting. I am nervous and not entirely happy, but this is what I've got to deal with. I am relieved not to be hiding under a hat or wig. If people think I look like crap, that's just the way it goes.

Boy, I've really had a bad attitude this week. Between the money problems, academic stress, my upcoming move to a new home, and the physical/emotional consequences of going off raw, I can't wait to get back to my raw plan. Once I get back to that, I know I'll feel a little better mentally. Eating raw is my "home base" for a lot of things in my life. When I don't eat raw, things are screwed up!

Thanks for listening.